Have you ever read a book, and you got to a part where it just kept you sucked in the entire time? And then the way the perticular scene of the book ended, you were like "THAT SUCKS!" Well, that happened to me last night. I am nearing the end of the book 1 of Sword of Truth series. In it, Richard, who is the seeker, gets captured by this gal named Denna, who is a Mord Sith. She basically sets out to "break" him, by torturing him, hurting him beyond his wildest imaginings, etc. He is to refer to her as "Mistress Denna," and if he talks to her and does not address her properly, she hurts him some more. She has him under control through magic, so if whenever he tried to grab her throat, or use his knife, he suddenly was on the floor screaming in agony.
It gets to the point where Richard just can't take the pain, and because of that, all he dreams about is pleasing Denna. All he wants is for the pain to stop, and so he does his best to not mess up, and to do everything she commands him to do. She ends up showing him that she cares for him, but of course, that only makes the pain increase, as she decides to take him for her mate. It was just, wow, intoxicating to read. Towards the end of the scenario, Darken Rahl releases Richard and tells him how he would be able to kill Denna, and that he must kill her if he wants to be able to leave. Otherwise he will still be under her control. Of course, Denna is ready for him, knowing that he is to kill her, and willing for it. Richard pleaded with her to just let him go, that he didn't want to do this. He too had begun to care for her just as she had begun to care for him. She had protected him from unthinkable pain from other mord sith. Not all pain, but at least the most brutal. There was this other mord sith, a friend of Denna's who apparently really hates men. She wanted to use their Agiel (or whatever it's called, which is basically this club looking thing, with magic that brings unspeakable pain to whoever it touches, and can even kill depending on where and how it touches someone).
Denna told him if he tried to leave, she would use the magic to bring him down and then train him some more, giving him lots of pain again. Richard said "Forgive me my love," and had gained complete control over the magic of his sword and slowly ran her through. Afterwards, he layed her on her bed, and layed beside her crying, wishing he could undo what he did.
That is where I stopped reading before I went to bed this morning. By that point, I can't really explain what has been going on with me. For some reason, I don't feel the greatest. Physically, I feel fine. I just, I dont know, I feel down. It could be the weight of all the days of work, could be little stresses at home, could be Lex being away for the month of june, could be lack of sleep, could be anything. I'm not sure what it is. All I know is that for some reason, I feel weighed down, like I'm just trying to keep myself afloat. I'm trying to do the best that I can. I guess the reason why the part of the book kept me from sleeping too well is how close he got with Denna, both of them caring for eachother, him having to kill her in the end in order to get away. I know that she couldn't let him go because then Darken Rahl would kill her anyway. It was the only way. Had it not been, I'm sure she would have let him go.
Maybe it's all the things in life that were one way, and then now are completely different. If I were to look at my own life, would I think that it has improved? In some ways, yes. In some ways, no. For instance, I'm a family man, and here i have a wonderful family. I have Erin, I together we have 2 beautiful girls. But when things start out, like between friends or lovers, things always seem much better in the beginning, and then some where down the line, because of being over worked, or stressed, or whatever, things may not seem as good. I don't know if things really have changed that much between us, or if it's just the fact that we both are working, and both trying to work on our degrees. Perhaps when we both get our degrees, have better jobs, no debt, our businesses set up, maybe then I can look back and see all the struggles we went through, how much things have improved and go "wow, look at these rough spots we went through, and we made it. We survived, together."
Every day what gives me strength is from God himself. In order to feel His presence with me, helping me to be strong, to endure everything I have to endure right now, while we wait for the times to change, everytime I pray to him, I kneel before him. I don't know exactly why that is. All I know is that, when I kneel in prayer, I can feel that he is right there with me, helping me. I am always continually giving him all of our worries, cares, stresses, goals and wishes in life, things that we want to acheive, places we want to get, etc, with the faith that He is working on it, and when He thinks it is time, he will guide us down those paths. Well I never thought to give him things such as being tempted. Sometimes we are tempted by the smallest things, and yet don't want to be. So on one of my worst days, I kept feeling drawn, when I didn't want to be, and so the next time I kneeled before him, on top of giving him everything else, I said "Lord, please help me with my weaknesses, I give you my temptations as well, and know that you will help me over come them."
Ever since starting to do that, there is still the twinkling of being tempted, but at the same time, it's like, whatever tries to tempt me strikes, but then is disintegrated into dust. So, thankfully that alone is easier. Now just to be strong while the rest of it falls into place. I don't know how long it will be, but when God is ready, they will start happening. Would I like to be rich? Sure! Who wouldn't. Do I need it? No. What I want, and feel that we need is simply to make enough money where we don't have to stress about it, to be able to save some for the future, to not have to stress about things at home but just be completely open to all things between us, to have our degrees with the knowledge that we succeeded. Some day.
So in closing, today Erin worked. I was looking forward to it because I figured "Great! I can sleep till 2 and be rested." wrong. I had a few calls from Erin waking me up by 11:30 or so because her car acted up on the way to work. She wanted me to get up and meet her at 1 according to the text I got. She said she meant that I should get out of bed at 1 and then meet her at 1:30. oops, my bad I guess. So at 1 I was there, waiting, until 2 when she finally got off. I followed her in her car over to wal mart, for them to check to see if the oil change they did messed anything else up for whatever reason. When they looked, they found nothing, so they hooked the little device to it and it read that the transmission was bad.
Backing up a bit, before we got to wal mart, she pulled up to a stop sign and then the car wouldn't drive. It wouldn't go into any gears at all. So we had to have it towed, costing us $60.00. Then at wal mart after hearing the news, we called around to find a transmission specialist and then had to call road side assistance to have the Escape towed there. They were closed when we got there, but they let the driver put it in the garage and will take a look at it monday free of charge to let us know what it will take to fix it, and the estimated cost. What we don't know at this point is how we will pay for it. With my really big check next week, I figured on getting Erin's car in order, maybe with a tune up *before we found out it was the transmission*, and I want to get my new gas tank put on my truck, and the tail pipe whelded back onto the catalytic converter. I figured each car might run us $200-300 but that both would then be working a lot better. Plus, I have an appointment at the VA medical clinic an hour away from here on the 22nd *hopefully the replacement for the other guard is here by then, giving me a normal work week*. Their going to examine me, checking out my back, etc, so that the claim I filed for disability through the government can be processed. It it works out, I should start receiving a monthly check from the government for maybe like $250.00 or something. For those of you that don't know, I injured my back when I was a fire fighter in the air force.
I'm going to call that it for now, but I will write more for you all tomorrow.
Thanks for being here.
CB
Friday, June 11, 2010
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Day 66
Good evening everybody. Last night I faxed over 'everything' i had to the financial aid department, and to the veteran affairs department at the University of Phoenix. The stuff for my GI bill was only 2 pages, which consisted of a cover page and the single page I filled out via adobe acrobat reader. The stuff for my financial aid was a bit more lengthy. The day before yesterday, they emailed me saying that I had in fact been selected for verification. Basically what that means is that based on my fafsa, it was decided that they needed my 2008 taxes to verify information. Usually it's just that, verification. As soon as you turn that in, then they are able to process your financial aid.
I had parts of our tax information because of having to jumble them around while trying to submit them over and over to AMU, so what I did was yesterday when Zoe and I went out to get us all food, we stopped at HR block and they printed 2008 and 2009 off for us, including state taxes and federal. I think I already mentioned that my plan was to just turn in every single thing, including 09 so that they would have nothing left to ask me about. All in all, it ended up being 38 pages with both 2008 and 2009 state and federal tax information. Well, today I got an email from school VA office saying to allow 3 days for them to process. I then got an email from the financial aid department saying that my file appears to be complete, and that there was nothing else that I needed right now. They said the next thing for me to do was to contact my actual financial aid representative that is assigned to me for certification. So I called and ended up leaving him a voicemail. As far as I know, I'm good to go. I'm sure they will let me know otherwise. I will be happy when 1) I start classes officially, and 2) when I see the financial aid, including grants, loans, and the GI bill, being processed and paying for my school.
Although class hasn't started yet, I'm still in the New Student Orientation workshop. It is 3 days long, and so far I have completed 2 days of it. Each day there are different things you have to do, all have to do with learning more about the University of Phoenix student portal. The more I navigate it, the more confident I am. It doesn't seem too difficult. I've noticed that compared to other students taking this mini-class, when we are posting our answers to questions asked about something we did or read on the site, my posts have been much more lengthy. I guess because I took classes online before, I know online teachers want substantive messages, which basically means that you don't just write things like "I think the answer is this because _____."
They have all wanted more than that. Erin can tell ya, as she is an online student as well. They usually want something like "The thing that brought about the such and such event was this. A few examples of some of the things that they have done are as, _____, _______, and ______. _____, which we all know very well is the resulting factor from when you combine the two elements of. . . ."
Etc, Etc. Sorry, I bet you were reading that going "What the hell is he talking about?" I wasn't actually talking about anything. I was basically just writing, thinking up a generic example of how you'd begin to write a response to a question in a forum as an online student. It's not so hard.
So anyway, this morning I guess Erin was tired. She didn't have to work, and so like I usually do, I was hoping to be able to sleep till 2 so that I would be nice and rested. Well, Zoe was awake before 11, and hollering out "MOMMA! DADDA!" from her room. Erin rolled over and nudged me saying "She's calling for you." Me, half asleep and knowing I hadn't gotten much sleep yet, of course was like "yeah but it's only 11! I only went to bed by 6:30!" But, reluctantly, I got up and went downstairs with Zoe. Although I was upset about that like I usually am, while Zoe and I watched stuff on netflix I got onto my laptop and logged in and worked on the school assignments for today for the workshop. I learned today that apparently University of Phoenix has a place online where you can go to and get math help, math practice, etc, basically if you have math anxiety, there is something to help ya. There is also a sort of math placement application, where you take this 3 hour test and it tells you what your math level is.
One of the questions we had to post an answer to was asking us what the 2 applications would do for me as a student. I wrote about how although I seem to be good at math, I'm still anxious about it. I added to it with writing about how even though I'm good at math, that i'm not really a fan of it. That I would still go ahead and take the test to see where I'm at, as well as try to better myself.
We may not like some of the things we have to do at times, such as math, but sometimes it's best to still try to learn as much as we can. As they say, knowledge is power, and the more you know, the better. And I plan to finish my associates and my bachelors, along with everything else in life I have as goals, and be able to experience and know a lot. Through knowledge comes confidence as well. The more you know, I've noticed, the more confident you are in yourself. But have you ever had friends ask you something, and it was about something completely foreign to you? I have. It's not necesarily 'bad', since nobody knows everything, but if it's a rare topic and you happen to be aware of it, that doesn't hurt! Sometimes I am real big on reading news articles on cnn.com or the clintonherald, an then later I will be listening to John Tesh on the radio and he will talk about one of those topics. It could be someone escaped from prison, the oil spill, whatever, and when he mentions it, I get the "hey I know about that!" thought going through my head, and it feels good!
So, in closing, yes I realize I have been rambling. Erin and I had a little disagreement. Not really an arguement, we were both upset, but we weren't necesarily yelling or bickering, etc. Basically, when she got up around 2, by 3 I was done with my school stuff and I went to lay down to go to bed myself. It was closer to 4 by this time though. Erin commented how we never spend any time together currently. I dont think I said anything, but I know it is mainly because of work hours, school etc, and that once Randy's replacement comes sometime after the 21st, I will have 3ish days off per week again and things will improve. The money might not be super over time like it is now, but it will be better than it was before randy left, as the hours were increased. So, on that note, I will call it a night for tonight. I will write more for you all tomorrow.
Thanks for being here.
CB
I had parts of our tax information because of having to jumble them around while trying to submit them over and over to AMU, so what I did was yesterday when Zoe and I went out to get us all food, we stopped at HR block and they printed 2008 and 2009 off for us, including state taxes and federal. I think I already mentioned that my plan was to just turn in every single thing, including 09 so that they would have nothing left to ask me about. All in all, it ended up being 38 pages with both 2008 and 2009 state and federal tax information. Well, today I got an email from school VA office saying to allow 3 days for them to process. I then got an email from the financial aid department saying that my file appears to be complete, and that there was nothing else that I needed right now. They said the next thing for me to do was to contact my actual financial aid representative that is assigned to me for certification. So I called and ended up leaving him a voicemail. As far as I know, I'm good to go. I'm sure they will let me know otherwise. I will be happy when 1) I start classes officially, and 2) when I see the financial aid, including grants, loans, and the GI bill, being processed and paying for my school.
Although class hasn't started yet, I'm still in the New Student Orientation workshop. It is 3 days long, and so far I have completed 2 days of it. Each day there are different things you have to do, all have to do with learning more about the University of Phoenix student portal. The more I navigate it, the more confident I am. It doesn't seem too difficult. I've noticed that compared to other students taking this mini-class, when we are posting our answers to questions asked about something we did or read on the site, my posts have been much more lengthy. I guess because I took classes online before, I know online teachers want substantive messages, which basically means that you don't just write things like "I think the answer is this because _____."
They have all wanted more than that. Erin can tell ya, as she is an online student as well. They usually want something like "The thing that brought about the such and such event was this. A few examples of some of the things that they have done are as, _____, _______, and ______. _____, which we all know very well is the resulting factor from when you combine the two elements of. . . ."
Etc, Etc. Sorry, I bet you were reading that going "What the hell is he talking about?" I wasn't actually talking about anything. I was basically just writing, thinking up a generic example of how you'd begin to write a response to a question in a forum as an online student. It's not so hard.
So anyway, this morning I guess Erin was tired. She didn't have to work, and so like I usually do, I was hoping to be able to sleep till 2 so that I would be nice and rested. Well, Zoe was awake before 11, and hollering out "MOMMA! DADDA!" from her room. Erin rolled over and nudged me saying "She's calling for you." Me, half asleep and knowing I hadn't gotten much sleep yet, of course was like "yeah but it's only 11! I only went to bed by 6:30!" But, reluctantly, I got up and went downstairs with Zoe. Although I was upset about that like I usually am, while Zoe and I watched stuff on netflix I got onto my laptop and logged in and worked on the school assignments for today for the workshop. I learned today that apparently University of Phoenix has a place online where you can go to and get math help, math practice, etc, basically if you have math anxiety, there is something to help ya. There is also a sort of math placement application, where you take this 3 hour test and it tells you what your math level is.
One of the questions we had to post an answer to was asking us what the 2 applications would do for me as a student. I wrote about how although I seem to be good at math, I'm still anxious about it. I added to it with writing about how even though I'm good at math, that i'm not really a fan of it. That I would still go ahead and take the test to see where I'm at, as well as try to better myself.
We may not like some of the things we have to do at times, such as math, but sometimes it's best to still try to learn as much as we can. As they say, knowledge is power, and the more you know, the better. And I plan to finish my associates and my bachelors, along with everything else in life I have as goals, and be able to experience and know a lot. Through knowledge comes confidence as well. The more you know, I've noticed, the more confident you are in yourself. But have you ever had friends ask you something, and it was about something completely foreign to you? I have. It's not necesarily 'bad', since nobody knows everything, but if it's a rare topic and you happen to be aware of it, that doesn't hurt! Sometimes I am real big on reading news articles on cnn.com or the clintonherald, an then later I will be listening to John Tesh on the radio and he will talk about one of those topics. It could be someone escaped from prison, the oil spill, whatever, and when he mentions it, I get the "hey I know about that!" thought going through my head, and it feels good!
So, in closing, yes I realize I have been rambling. Erin and I had a little disagreement. Not really an arguement, we were both upset, but we weren't necesarily yelling or bickering, etc. Basically, when she got up around 2, by 3 I was done with my school stuff and I went to lay down to go to bed myself. It was closer to 4 by this time though. Erin commented how we never spend any time together currently. I dont think I said anything, but I know it is mainly because of work hours, school etc, and that once Randy's replacement comes sometime after the 21st, I will have 3ish days off per week again and things will improve. The money might not be super over time like it is now, but it will be better than it was before randy left, as the hours were increased. So, on that note, I will call it a night for tonight. I will write more for you all tomorrow.
Thanks for being here.
CB
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Day 65
Not a whole lot of time today. Classes haven't started yet, but in a way we are starting something. I have to do this "New Student Orientation Workshop" class. It's only today, tomorrow, and friday, but each day there are things to do, assignments to turn in, things to read. It all has to do with teaching us how to navigate our way around the online classroom. So far I think the University of Phoenix will be good. I was overwhelmed when I first logged on, thinking "oh crap, I'm not going to get this!" Then I messed with it more, and more, and more, until I started to figure my way around.
So, I completed everything I needed to complete for school today. Before 4PM, Zoe and I headed out to get some food for the three of us. I wanted KFC. I had a small $5.00 box the other day, the one with those new bonelss fillets, and I thought it was good. But it had me wanting more. Usually we're not that big on eating out. Well today I thought "well, we're doing alright, let's go ahead and do it again." So Zoe and I swung through KFC for me. It's amazing with the size of my truck, their drive through was in serious danger of receiving damage. They have this very narrow turn around the building, with metal railings and what not. I was turning ever so slowly, going "here goes!" But, thankfully, I made it.
Then we went over to Taco bell and picked up erin's and zoe's food. When we went to HR block, I got them to print off our 2008 and 2009 taxes. University of Phoenix is so far only requesting 2008, but I know that down the road, they will want 2009, and if they get it now then they wont need to ask me about it later. So tonight, I will be faxing in one last sheet so my VA benefits can be processed, meaning I will get to receive the GI bill benefits to help me with school and living expenses, and will be faxing over the tax forms to financial aid so that will be all good to go. The lady printing them off asked me if I wanted the state tax info as well. I said "Might as well. If I give them everything, there will be nothing that they will still possibly need." After fighting with AMU for so long, I figure, "just give them everything I have, so that they wont need anything else."
So I finally heard from Securitas today. As you know, we, rather I am on 12 hour shifts. Last week alone, I worked 28 hours over time. Today when they called me, they said that they will finally get me some days off on this upcoming monday and tuesday. That means for this week, I will get 38 hours overtime. Even with getting 2 days off next week, I will still work 60 hours, so that's 20 hours over time. I sent erin a text message saying what I estimated my check will be next week before taxes, and if I'm right, then DAMN! I think it will be safe to say that we will get caught up on a lot of stuff, and still have some left over. So that'll be nice for a change. So we'll have that good paycheck and I believe there will be one more with over time before it will go to an average of 42 hours per week. I asked them today, since I'm the senior officer here now, how they wanted me to handle the schedules between me and the new guy coming over here in a few weeks. They said "I was thinking maybe you each do 3.5 days, getting 42 hours each." I was like "I've thought about that too. I have no problem with that."
So, I know this post is not too long, but I'm going to close anyway. I'm so looking forward to the financial aid being 100% processed. Hell, I'm looking forward to possibly receiving checks from VA for living expenses. That will be awesome! I don't know how the GI bill works since this will be my first time using it. So anyway, I'm going to call that it for tonight. Thanks for being here.
CB
So, I completed everything I needed to complete for school today. Before 4PM, Zoe and I headed out to get some food for the three of us. I wanted KFC. I had a small $5.00 box the other day, the one with those new bonelss fillets, and I thought it was good. But it had me wanting more. Usually we're not that big on eating out. Well today I thought "well, we're doing alright, let's go ahead and do it again." So Zoe and I swung through KFC for me. It's amazing with the size of my truck, their drive through was in serious danger of receiving damage. They have this very narrow turn around the building, with metal railings and what not. I was turning ever so slowly, going "here goes!" But, thankfully, I made it.
Then we went over to Taco bell and picked up erin's and zoe's food. When we went to HR block, I got them to print off our 2008 and 2009 taxes. University of Phoenix is so far only requesting 2008, but I know that down the road, they will want 2009, and if they get it now then they wont need to ask me about it later. So tonight, I will be faxing in one last sheet so my VA benefits can be processed, meaning I will get to receive the GI bill benefits to help me with school and living expenses, and will be faxing over the tax forms to financial aid so that will be all good to go. The lady printing them off asked me if I wanted the state tax info as well. I said "Might as well. If I give them everything, there will be nothing that they will still possibly need." After fighting with AMU for so long, I figure, "just give them everything I have, so that they wont need anything else."
So I finally heard from Securitas today. As you know, we, rather I am on 12 hour shifts. Last week alone, I worked 28 hours over time. Today when they called me, they said that they will finally get me some days off on this upcoming monday and tuesday. That means for this week, I will get 38 hours overtime. Even with getting 2 days off next week, I will still work 60 hours, so that's 20 hours over time. I sent erin a text message saying what I estimated my check will be next week before taxes, and if I'm right, then DAMN! I think it will be safe to say that we will get caught up on a lot of stuff, and still have some left over. So that'll be nice for a change. So we'll have that good paycheck and I believe there will be one more with over time before it will go to an average of 42 hours per week. I asked them today, since I'm the senior officer here now, how they wanted me to handle the schedules between me and the new guy coming over here in a few weeks. They said "I was thinking maybe you each do 3.5 days, getting 42 hours each." I was like "I've thought about that too. I have no problem with that."
So, I know this post is not too long, but I'm going to close anyway. I'm so looking forward to the financial aid being 100% processed. Hell, I'm looking forward to possibly receiving checks from VA for living expenses. That will be awesome! I don't know how the GI bill works since this will be my first time using it. So anyway, I'm going to call that it for tonight. Thanks for being here.
CB
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Day 64
Good day everyone. Well today I got an email from the financial aid department from University of Phoenix, saying that I was definitely chosen for verification. Basically what I was told when I enrolled last week was that there was a 50/50 chance that I would get selected. So, I guess it's official. Basically what I will need to do asap is print off their verification worksheet and cover sheet, and then I plan on going to HR block tomorrow and getting them to print off a copy of our 2008 and 2009 taxes. Right now they are only asking about 2008, but I figure if I send 2009 as well, then that will be on file and they wont have to ask about it later.
Then tomorrow evening I will fax it all to them, hopefully clearing that up and being good to go. I asked my enrollment advisor that, if I'm starting class on the 21st, when will my schedule of all the different classes be listed online. He said that probably around the 15th or 16th. So, I will turn in everything they need, and then I will be good to start, good to begin receiving financial aid from the school, as well as the Post 911 GI bill because of being a veteran, good to start receiving the pell grant again, so, pretty much, by that point I will only have to worry about passing every class and progressing slowly along. My first stage I will go through with University of Phoenix will be my associates degree in hospitality and tourism, and then after getting that degree I will be able to enroll in the bachelors degree in business with a focus in hospitality.
I'm looking forward to it all. When I started school online with Ashford, I loved it. I was doing really well, and only left because of the job offer with Schwans and the limited free time. Looking back by now I would be almost to my bachelors degree, but that's ok. Better late than never. I do know that once I start with University of Phoenix, I'm not going to stop for anything until I get both the associates degree and the bachelors degree nailed out. Too many times I have said "I will go back later and get my degree." Well, how many times should I allow myself to do that? I say I have done it enough and need to get them done.
So today, I would have been in bed by 6:30, but I wanted to take care of a few things. I loaded up the trashbags and stuff into the bed of the truck, and got rid of those. Then I changed out Tinche's cat litter to brand new fresh litter. Then, following a bowl of oatmeal with brownsugar and maple syrup, I went upstairs. Changing out of my work uniform into my Family Guy sleep pants, I emptied everything from the pockets of my work pants. Grabbed both the shirts and pants, and an arm full of other stuff, and took them downstairs and put them in the wash. Today we had an appointment for Teagan to get his vaccinations done, and so I set my alarm for 2:30.
I don't remember if i mentioned it the other day, but there was a cop that came up responding to a complaint. The complaint said that Teagan was always outside without food, water, or adequate shelter. She looked at the nice dog house, the full bowls both with water and with food, and basically her only issue was that Teagan's registration with the city was not up to date. So we got the shots done today and then got the new animal registration sheet. However, the police department was already in after hours, and so I will make a copy of the page tonight and tomorrow some time while I'm out cold, Erin can run it up there to the officer and drop it off.
I found out last night that Randy, the other guard I used to work with here up until he just stopped showing up suddenly, that he quit like that deliberately. When I went over to South campus by 4:40 to unlock, I chatted with the house keeping guy for a few minutes. He told me he ran into Randy at Wal Mart. He said "Hey, I heard you quit!" Randy said "Yeah, I wanted weekends off, but since I couldn't get them, I figured screw it."
I was like "Yeah, well he just screwed himself over as far as his employment history goes. Securitas won't be giving him a good reference with him just no-call-no-show'ing and quitting like that." Oh well. So as of tomorrow morning when I get off, I will have 60 hours worked for this pay week alone. When I get off thursday morning, I will have 72 hours. If I don't get a day off this week like I did last thursday after working 9 days straight, add in thursday evening's hours and I will end the week with 78 hours for this pay week alone, which leaves me with 40 hours for each last week and this week, plus 28 hours overtime last week, 38 hours overtime this week, plus 12 hours were on memorial day, so that's holiday pay as well, so I'm looking foward to seeing what my paycheck will be like next week. On Erin's advice after I mentioned something to her, I told Securitas that I would be willing to work 5 days a week if they could find people to work the other two days. They seemed to think that was a good idea. The reason I thought of it is this. I am going on 7 months that I have been here as a guard at the hospital through securitas.
I've never once called in sick, missed work for any reason, been late, etc.... I've ALWAYS been here when I'm supposed to be here, and on top of that, there were several times, probably about 7 or 8 times that randy called in, usually on holiday weekends or whatever, and I ended up working his shift too. 99% of the time he did it when I was supposed to have a long weekend after I had a long work week, and then suddenly a 4 day (40 hour) work week for me turned into a 6 day 60 hour work week (since that was when we were doing 10 hour shifts).
So, my main arguement with securitas as far as supporting me working 5 days in a row and them finding someone or 2 guards to fill in on the other two days, was that "You know you can depend on me. I've never missed work, called in sick, been late, whatever. Therefore I think that if you had me working 5 days a week, those 5 days you could pretty much count on the fact that I would be here. You would only have to make sure you had people for the other 2 days. My only request is that if you ok this, that the two days off would be together. Such as me work monday through friday, and have saturday and sunday off, or something similar to that." My on call supervisor was like "That sounds like a good idea. I tell ya Mr Blodgett, you really are on the ball. You're making some good decisions!" I was like "I love my job, and try to do the best that I can." So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Right now I know I will be enjoying the paycheck, but I will enjoy the work days more when I know a more definite, such as "Hey, here's the plan. You're going to work these 5 days. We're going to have you train so-and-so and they will be working the other 2 days." Then I can be like, "Sounds great! Thanks!"
In closing, with that in mind, I plan to find out when the next window is for signing us up for benefits. I know Erin and I both would like to resume being able to get checked out by a doctor. We may have to switch clinics because when I left schwans, our health insurance ran out and I raked up thousands of dollars in debt because of my gall bladder. Can you believe that? I didn't have that many appointments, but there were a few when I got the bills that said "such-and such, $1,295.00 Due". I was like O_O ohmygosh! When I was hired with schwans, our health care was an account that had $1,500 in it and then anything that went beyond that was out of our pocket. And so within 2 appointments with having to deal with my gall bladder, that account was tapped out! And could I have waited and not had it taken out? I might have been able to for a little while, but they said with the tests they ran that my gall bladder was only 10% functional, which would have meant a little ways down the road and it would have quit all together, and I would have gone full scale pancreatitus, which if you ask Erin, she went through and it doesn't sound fun.
If she hadn't been pushing me to get seen by a doctor, I might not have gone when I did.. But then again, that weekend when they decided I needed to be laying down until I could get it removed, I went in to their urgent care clinic because I woke up saturday morning with the knowledge that my schwans manager said we all had to work. However, when I woke up, I felt like I had knives in my back and chest. It hurt to move, to breath, to talk, to do anything. I dragged myself out of bed, tried to not scream because Erin was asleep and I didn't want to wake her up, then dragged myself downstairs to the phone, called the clinic and explained what was going on, they said "We have an opening in 45 minutes. See you then!" I hobbled back upstairs and took a hot shower, told Erin what was going on, and then headed out. I still remember going through all that. Sucks that now I have thousands more dollars in debt because of that little problematic organ. Oh well! So I will call that it for tonight. I wish you all a blessed evening.
Thanks for being here!
CB
Then tomorrow evening I will fax it all to them, hopefully clearing that up and being good to go. I asked my enrollment advisor that, if I'm starting class on the 21st, when will my schedule of all the different classes be listed online. He said that probably around the 15th or 16th. So, I will turn in everything they need, and then I will be good to start, good to begin receiving financial aid from the school, as well as the Post 911 GI bill because of being a veteran, good to start receiving the pell grant again, so, pretty much, by that point I will only have to worry about passing every class and progressing slowly along. My first stage I will go through with University of Phoenix will be my associates degree in hospitality and tourism, and then after getting that degree I will be able to enroll in the bachelors degree in business with a focus in hospitality.
I'm looking forward to it all. When I started school online with Ashford, I loved it. I was doing really well, and only left because of the job offer with Schwans and the limited free time. Looking back by now I would be almost to my bachelors degree, but that's ok. Better late than never. I do know that once I start with University of Phoenix, I'm not going to stop for anything until I get both the associates degree and the bachelors degree nailed out. Too many times I have said "I will go back later and get my degree." Well, how many times should I allow myself to do that? I say I have done it enough and need to get them done.
So today, I would have been in bed by 6:30, but I wanted to take care of a few things. I loaded up the trashbags and stuff into the bed of the truck, and got rid of those. Then I changed out Tinche's cat litter to brand new fresh litter. Then, following a bowl of oatmeal with brownsugar and maple syrup, I went upstairs. Changing out of my work uniform into my Family Guy sleep pants, I emptied everything from the pockets of my work pants. Grabbed both the shirts and pants, and an arm full of other stuff, and took them downstairs and put them in the wash. Today we had an appointment for Teagan to get his vaccinations done, and so I set my alarm for 2:30.
I don't remember if i mentioned it the other day, but there was a cop that came up responding to a complaint. The complaint said that Teagan was always outside without food, water, or adequate shelter. She looked at the nice dog house, the full bowls both with water and with food, and basically her only issue was that Teagan's registration with the city was not up to date. So we got the shots done today and then got the new animal registration sheet. However, the police department was already in after hours, and so I will make a copy of the page tonight and tomorrow some time while I'm out cold, Erin can run it up there to the officer and drop it off.
I found out last night that Randy, the other guard I used to work with here up until he just stopped showing up suddenly, that he quit like that deliberately. When I went over to South campus by 4:40 to unlock, I chatted with the house keeping guy for a few minutes. He told me he ran into Randy at Wal Mart. He said "Hey, I heard you quit!" Randy said "Yeah, I wanted weekends off, but since I couldn't get them, I figured screw it."
I was like "Yeah, well he just screwed himself over as far as his employment history goes. Securitas won't be giving him a good reference with him just no-call-no-show'ing and quitting like that." Oh well. So as of tomorrow morning when I get off, I will have 60 hours worked for this pay week alone. When I get off thursday morning, I will have 72 hours. If I don't get a day off this week like I did last thursday after working 9 days straight, add in thursday evening's hours and I will end the week with 78 hours for this pay week alone, which leaves me with 40 hours for each last week and this week, plus 28 hours overtime last week, 38 hours overtime this week, plus 12 hours were on memorial day, so that's holiday pay as well, so I'm looking foward to seeing what my paycheck will be like next week. On Erin's advice after I mentioned something to her, I told Securitas that I would be willing to work 5 days a week if they could find people to work the other two days. They seemed to think that was a good idea. The reason I thought of it is this. I am going on 7 months that I have been here as a guard at the hospital through securitas.
I've never once called in sick, missed work for any reason, been late, etc.... I've ALWAYS been here when I'm supposed to be here, and on top of that, there were several times, probably about 7 or 8 times that randy called in, usually on holiday weekends or whatever, and I ended up working his shift too. 99% of the time he did it when I was supposed to have a long weekend after I had a long work week, and then suddenly a 4 day (40 hour) work week for me turned into a 6 day 60 hour work week (since that was when we were doing 10 hour shifts).
So, my main arguement with securitas as far as supporting me working 5 days in a row and them finding someone or 2 guards to fill in on the other two days, was that "You know you can depend on me. I've never missed work, called in sick, been late, whatever. Therefore I think that if you had me working 5 days a week, those 5 days you could pretty much count on the fact that I would be here. You would only have to make sure you had people for the other 2 days. My only request is that if you ok this, that the two days off would be together. Such as me work monday through friday, and have saturday and sunday off, or something similar to that." My on call supervisor was like "That sounds like a good idea. I tell ya Mr Blodgett, you really are on the ball. You're making some good decisions!" I was like "I love my job, and try to do the best that I can." So, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Right now I know I will be enjoying the paycheck, but I will enjoy the work days more when I know a more definite, such as "Hey, here's the plan. You're going to work these 5 days. We're going to have you train so-and-so and they will be working the other 2 days." Then I can be like, "Sounds great! Thanks!"
In closing, with that in mind, I plan to find out when the next window is for signing us up for benefits. I know Erin and I both would like to resume being able to get checked out by a doctor. We may have to switch clinics because when I left schwans, our health insurance ran out and I raked up thousands of dollars in debt because of my gall bladder. Can you believe that? I didn't have that many appointments, but there were a few when I got the bills that said "such-and such, $1,295.00 Due". I was like O_O ohmygosh! When I was hired with schwans, our health care was an account that had $1,500 in it and then anything that went beyond that was out of our pocket. And so within 2 appointments with having to deal with my gall bladder, that account was tapped out! And could I have waited and not had it taken out? I might have been able to for a little while, but they said with the tests they ran that my gall bladder was only 10% functional, which would have meant a little ways down the road and it would have quit all together, and I would have gone full scale pancreatitus, which if you ask Erin, she went through and it doesn't sound fun.
If she hadn't been pushing me to get seen by a doctor, I might not have gone when I did.. But then again, that weekend when they decided I needed to be laying down until I could get it removed, I went in to their urgent care clinic because I woke up saturday morning with the knowledge that my schwans manager said we all had to work. However, when I woke up, I felt like I had knives in my back and chest. It hurt to move, to breath, to talk, to do anything. I dragged myself out of bed, tried to not scream because Erin was asleep and I didn't want to wake her up, then dragged myself downstairs to the phone, called the clinic and explained what was going on, they said "We have an opening in 45 minutes. See you then!" I hobbled back upstairs and took a hot shower, told Erin what was going on, and then headed out. I still remember going through all that. Sucks that now I have thousands more dollars in debt because of that little problematic organ. Oh well! So I will call that it for tonight. I wish you all a blessed evening.
Thanks for being here!
CB
Monday, June 7, 2010
Day 63
Good day everybody. So last night at work started out ok, had a rough middle, and then ended fine. Lets start with the beginning of the shift. Just before hand, as I wrote about yesterday I believe, I had managed to get a 1 hour power nap in the car just before we got home. Then I took a cold shower for like 5 minutes. Cold showers are not something I do really. Mainly because I've always loved nice, hot showers. Sometimes it depends I guess. Like when I go out during the hot day and go for a 2 mile lap, then when I take a shower I naturally will let the water be a little bit cooler. When your body temperature is up, I find it harder to be in really warm or hot water. So naturally the water will be cool. Not cold necesarily, but cool.
So after the cold shower, work started out just fine. I was surprised at how awake and alert I was. It was like that till about 9:30 or 10 oclock. Maybe a little before. I locked up south campus and then as I drove back to north, people were driving towards me, and their headlights in my vision were first very obviously the 2 individual lights, and then my vision clouded over and the headlights became one massive light. I knew the tiredness was starting to set in pretty hard then. I spent 10PM till probably about 3:30, constantly walking around, drinking water, trying to bring my alertness back. Everything I did was only temporary. I would drink cold water, and my vision would uncloud, and I would feel alert, then 15 minutes later suddenly everything would get heavy again. I even while getting a drink or re-filling my water bottle out of the ice cold water fountain, I stuck my face in the water streem. It was much colder than the shower I took, and when it drenched my face, first I gasped because of the cold, then I realized "wow, I'm fully alert!"
I thought "cool, extreme cold jolts you back awake. I had heard about it but never tried to go that extreme." But of course, like most things, it was temporary. I sat down for a few minutes and then suddenly it started to happen again. So the next thing I tried was to get my heart pumping hard. I remembered in basic training that although we never were allowed to sleep a lot, meaning we'd be lights out at 10PM and up by 2:30 getting ready for the day, we ran and did physical stuff a lot and although yes I was tired, at the same time I was alert and focused most of the time. So, here's what I did. I went into one of the stairwells and I ran up the stairs all the way to the 4th floor. That's 4 flights of stairs. When I got up there, I was breathing hard, and my heart was racing. I walked slowly back down, letting it calm down, and after that, wahlah! I was awake, with no more feeling heavy or whatever. Good stuff.
So in closing, when I went to bed at 6:30, I deliberately did not set my alarm. I wanted lots of sleep. And the amount I ended up with, I slept from 6:30 *falling asleep in minutes just like I thought I would,* till 5:15PM. Then I got ready for work and had to go to work at 6. But at least tonight I will be doing a hell of a lot better than last night. Sleep is an important and powerful thing.
Thanks for being here.
CB
So after the cold shower, work started out just fine. I was surprised at how awake and alert I was. It was like that till about 9:30 or 10 oclock. Maybe a little before. I locked up south campus and then as I drove back to north, people were driving towards me, and their headlights in my vision were first very obviously the 2 individual lights, and then my vision clouded over and the headlights became one massive light. I knew the tiredness was starting to set in pretty hard then. I spent 10PM till probably about 3:30, constantly walking around, drinking water, trying to bring my alertness back. Everything I did was only temporary. I would drink cold water, and my vision would uncloud, and I would feel alert, then 15 minutes later suddenly everything would get heavy again. I even while getting a drink or re-filling my water bottle out of the ice cold water fountain, I stuck my face in the water streem. It was much colder than the shower I took, and when it drenched my face, first I gasped because of the cold, then I realized "wow, I'm fully alert!"
I thought "cool, extreme cold jolts you back awake. I had heard about it but never tried to go that extreme." But of course, like most things, it was temporary. I sat down for a few minutes and then suddenly it started to happen again. So the next thing I tried was to get my heart pumping hard. I remembered in basic training that although we never were allowed to sleep a lot, meaning we'd be lights out at 10PM and up by 2:30 getting ready for the day, we ran and did physical stuff a lot and although yes I was tired, at the same time I was alert and focused most of the time. So, here's what I did. I went into one of the stairwells and I ran up the stairs all the way to the 4th floor. That's 4 flights of stairs. When I got up there, I was breathing hard, and my heart was racing. I walked slowly back down, letting it calm down, and after that, wahlah! I was awake, with no more feeling heavy or whatever. Good stuff.
So in closing, when I went to bed at 6:30, I deliberately did not set my alarm. I wanted lots of sleep. And the amount I ended up with, I slept from 6:30 *falling asleep in minutes just like I thought I would,* till 5:15PM. Then I got ready for work and had to go to work at 6. But at least tonight I will be doing a hell of a lot better than last night. Sleep is an important and powerful thing.
Thanks for being here.
CB
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Day 62
Short post today. Today is rough. This morning, I got off work, we left by 6:30, drove 4.5 hours to meet up with Erin's mom to hand lex over to them. Lex is going to stay with them for the month of June, to get grandma/grandpa/lex time. We left to come back around 1:15. Of course, being the only guard still, I had to work at 6, so I was worried we wouldn't make it back in time. Of course, I also had still not slept. On the way back, thankfully I powernapped for an hour, but then we got home at 5:41. I took a 5 minute cold shower, which helped, and went to work. For a while it was ok, but later in the night the sleep dep and tired ness has started to hit me pretty heavily. I know that there is nothing planned for tomorrow except I know Erin is working, and Zoe will be at day care, so I will plan on going to sleep without a plan of when I will wake up. I have no doubt that I will pray, lay my head down on the pillow and be gone in a minute or two. I just have to suck it up and get through my shift! Easy peasy right! Wrong! HARD! lol. But it will be done. The way I realized the tiredness was hitting me again was I drove over to south campus, locked up that campus, then was driving back and a car's headlights were coming at me and instead of 2 lights, they blurred a bit in my vision. I realized it and was like "oh shit." So, I'm praying I can make it the rest of the way through my shift without too many issues. I will write more for you tomorrow.
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Day 61
Good day everyone. Again, I say that it amazes me. I'm sure you're thinking "What amazes you?" Well the answer is this. It amazes me about the fact that coming in 2 hours earlier to work than what you used to 'shouldnt' make that much of a difference. In fact, the way I think about it, you should really not even notice that much. But when for over 6 months of working here, I have been coming in at 8PM and working till 6AM. So yesterday when I came into work, 1) it was still bright and sunny, where as I'm so used to it still being sunny but getting dark. Hell, during the winter, quite often it was dark already when I drove up.
So, that's one weird thing, starting work with it nice, bright, sunny, and HOT. I guess when you're so used to starting with it dim or even dark, the sun at times kind of hurt my eyes. I would patrol outside, walking around the entire campus and as I came back up the other side, I would be walking facing the setting sun, and be squinting pretty hard. 2) I was so tired last night. I hadn't gotten much sleep thursday night/friday morning, and then I tried to take a 3 hour nap friday after noon, laying down around 2 hoping to fall quickly asleep and get up at 5. Well, I layed there for an hour and a half at least. So after waking up at 5, I showered, got ready and came to work. For the first hour or so, my eyes were not cooperating with me. It was like I had a fog covering them that I was trying to look through. That usually happens to me a lot of times because of tiredness.
Sometimes I can clear the fog entirely so that I am wide awake, alert, etc, but it depends. Last night after I met up with the other guard at 10:30 (we had double coverage because there was no maintenance working last night and then there will be none tonight during 3rd shift as well), after we patrolled till after midnight, and then went over to south campus to check doors, we came back and went back to the office to take a break *and for him to snack on whatever, and me to heat up and eat dinner I brought from home*. When I take a break of any kind, be it a 15-20 break, or a 45 minute break, I most of the time have a book with me. Currently it is the first book of the sword of truth series called Wizards First Rule.
Well last night when we took our break, the other guard munched on some corn chips or something, and did cross-word puzzles out of a little magazine. I heated up my dinner and at, and then pulled out my book and figured I would read for a little while. I always decide ahead of time on what time I will be heading back out for the next round. For instance, I might decide to take a break at 7:45, and tell myself that I will head back out at 8:15. Then it might be 9:20 or 9:45 when I break again, but maybe I only hang out for 15 minutes just to get a drink of Mt Dew or water, and then continue walking around.
While I was reading, I could feel the tiredness hitting me hard. And I do mean HARD. I kept trying to shake my head to wake myself up. I knew it was because of the amount of sleep I got that day, and the amount I had been getting all around lately. I had been drinking the mt dew 20 oz through out my shift, but with too little sleep, caffeine will only help so much. I've noticed if you are sleep deprived, caffeine will help to some extent but not enough. You have to get a good rest, and then while you're working caffeine will give you much more of a boost.
When it was about 1:30, I was desperate. I was trying to think of what I could do to wake up. "Damn, 12 hours. I still have almost 5 hours left and I'm sinking fast already!" Then it dawned on me. When I was chatting with one of the housekeeping guys last week, he said one day he was so desperate to wake up that he took one of those packs of instant coffee and pretty much ate it straight, chugging down mt dew after wards to wash it down hoping he wouldn't taste it as much.
I am not a fan of coffee at all. I do enjoy the starbucks bottled cold coffee beverages, I think those are good! However, regular coffee, hot or cold, so nasty! I don't know why. Back when I worked for Ashford as a security officer, I worked 2nd and 3rd shift, 2 nights of 3pm to 11pm, and 2 nights of 11pm to 7am. Because of the split shifts, it was difficult for me to stay awake over night. My body wasn't programmed to be able to stay awake all night, because of the nights when I would get off at 11 and sleep at night instead of during the day.
Well at least here at the hospital, I'm straight 3rd shift, so I'm a lot more used to it than when I first started. It's no problem for me at all if I have gotten a good sleep. And by good sleep I mean like 7 hours. 5 is ok, if I get 5 hours then I can 'function' just fine, but sometimes I still get tired easily. But if I can get 7 or more, then I'm doing pretty good. And I mean "straight" sleep, not sleep for 2 hours, get woken up by whatever, go back to sleep for 3 hours, woken up again by someone coming in the room,then back to sleep another 2 hours. If you sleep like that, it's like little naps, but not as recouperative.
In closing, I'm going to go ahead and sign off for the night. Tomorrow Lex is heading to grandmas in KC for the month of June, so that will be fun. I'm not sure what's happening, if Erin will drive her to des moine to meet her while I sleep, or if I will be going too. Who knows. Personally I like the idea of sleep better than drive and having to nap in the car. Come on now, that's not recouperative at all! :P So anyway, thanks for reading. Will write more tomorrow.
So, that's one weird thing, starting work with it nice, bright, sunny, and HOT. I guess when you're so used to starting with it dim or even dark, the sun at times kind of hurt my eyes. I would patrol outside, walking around the entire campus and as I came back up the other side, I would be walking facing the setting sun, and be squinting pretty hard. 2) I was so tired last night. I hadn't gotten much sleep thursday night/friday morning, and then I tried to take a 3 hour nap friday after noon, laying down around 2 hoping to fall quickly asleep and get up at 5. Well, I layed there for an hour and a half at least. So after waking up at 5, I showered, got ready and came to work. For the first hour or so, my eyes were not cooperating with me. It was like I had a fog covering them that I was trying to look through. That usually happens to me a lot of times because of tiredness.
Sometimes I can clear the fog entirely so that I am wide awake, alert, etc, but it depends. Last night after I met up with the other guard at 10:30 (we had double coverage because there was no maintenance working last night and then there will be none tonight during 3rd shift as well), after we patrolled till after midnight, and then went over to south campus to check doors, we came back and went back to the office to take a break *and for him to snack on whatever, and me to heat up and eat dinner I brought from home*. When I take a break of any kind, be it a 15-20 break, or a 45 minute break, I most of the time have a book with me. Currently it is the first book of the sword of truth series called Wizards First Rule.
Well last night when we took our break, the other guard munched on some corn chips or something, and did cross-word puzzles out of a little magazine. I heated up my dinner and at, and then pulled out my book and figured I would read for a little while. I always decide ahead of time on what time I will be heading back out for the next round. For instance, I might decide to take a break at 7:45, and tell myself that I will head back out at 8:15. Then it might be 9:20 or 9:45 when I break again, but maybe I only hang out for 15 minutes just to get a drink of Mt Dew or water, and then continue walking around.
While I was reading, I could feel the tiredness hitting me hard. And I do mean HARD. I kept trying to shake my head to wake myself up. I knew it was because of the amount of sleep I got that day, and the amount I had been getting all around lately. I had been drinking the mt dew 20 oz through out my shift, but with too little sleep, caffeine will only help so much. I've noticed if you are sleep deprived, caffeine will help to some extent but not enough. You have to get a good rest, and then while you're working caffeine will give you much more of a boost.
When it was about 1:30, I was desperate. I was trying to think of what I could do to wake up. "Damn, 12 hours. I still have almost 5 hours left and I'm sinking fast already!" Then it dawned on me. When I was chatting with one of the housekeeping guys last week, he said one day he was so desperate to wake up that he took one of those packs of instant coffee and pretty much ate it straight, chugging down mt dew after wards to wash it down hoping he wouldn't taste it as much.
I am not a fan of coffee at all. I do enjoy the starbucks bottled cold coffee beverages, I think those are good! However, regular coffee, hot or cold, so nasty! I don't know why. Back when I worked for Ashford as a security officer, I worked 2nd and 3rd shift, 2 nights of 3pm to 11pm, and 2 nights of 11pm to 7am. Because of the split shifts, it was difficult for me to stay awake over night. My body wasn't programmed to be able to stay awake all night, because of the nights when I would get off at 11 and sleep at night instead of during the day.
Well at least here at the hospital, I'm straight 3rd shift, so I'm a lot more used to it than when I first started. It's no problem for me at all if I have gotten a good sleep. And by good sleep I mean like 7 hours. 5 is ok, if I get 5 hours then I can 'function' just fine, but sometimes I still get tired easily. But if I can get 7 or more, then I'm doing pretty good. And I mean "straight" sleep, not sleep for 2 hours, get woken up by whatever, go back to sleep for 3 hours, woken up again by someone coming in the room,then back to sleep another 2 hours. If you sleep like that, it's like little naps, but not as recouperative.
In closing, I'm going to go ahead and sign off for the night. Tomorrow Lex is heading to grandmas in KC for the month of June, so that will be fun. I'm not sure what's happening, if Erin will drive her to des moine to meet her while I sleep, or if I will be going too. Who knows. Personally I like the idea of sleep better than drive and having to nap in the car. Come on now, that's not recouperative at all! :P So anyway, thanks for reading. Will write more tomorrow.
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