there are always good days, and bad days.

So yes, as the title of this post says, there are always good days and bad days. Some days might not be as good or bad as other days. Sometimes I go through my work day out here on the road and I'm happy as can be the whole time. Other days, something happens that drags my whole day down. Other days nothing really happens, but I just am down for some reason. Yesterday was one of those days where someone did something and the day was just off for the rest of the day.

Since having been friends with melissa, and ashley, a pet peve I've developed is people saying they will do one thing, but then they don't. For example, Melissa and I were the best of friends for many years. We met online back when Lori and I were married, and we texted and chatted online all the time. I never would have thought that our friendship would go poof and be gone, but sadly one day it did. To this day I still don't know exactly what happened. From one of our last chats *which we had gone about a year-ish, since we had talked last*, from what I gathered, we were both going through a rough time. I was going through a rough time in Iowa, dealing with a lot, and I learned (too late apparently), that at the same time, she had been going through a rough time and that someone very dear to her had passed away and she tried to tell me and I went off about how things were going for me. Not the most sensitive, but to this day I swear I don't even remember this discussion. Well, that was like the last straw I guess and I stopped hearing from her for a while. Then we started talking again for a while, but I guess she changed her mind because then I tried texting her a few times and she stopped responding. So, either she changed her number or just flat out figured "fuck you!" and ignored me.

So then there was Ashley, or "Ash" as myself and others called her. She lives up in Maine, and we would talk off and on for quite a few years. We'd go like a year and then we'd message a few times, and then we'd go a while without talking again. Well when I was driving for CR England, for some reason, we got really close, closer than we had ever been. She was going through a rough time and she needed support I guess, so of course, being the friend I try to be, I was there for her if needed. Anything from just chatting about whatever, to loading up my computer and putting oovoo or yahoo video chat on. Sometimes the video chat would be on, and I'd be doing other stuff not even chatting on the screen, and she would basically be doing the same. Occasionally we would load up yahoo video chat and we would actually be talking. It depended on the day, but that's what I figured I was there for, a friend if she needed one.

Well, then it came out of the blue, but one day we were chatting like we usually did, and then the next day suddenly she was not responding. When I'm close friends with someone or close with someone in general, I am pretty good about being able to tell when something is up. Take my cousin Mary for example. We text back and forth fairly regularly, so it's easy for me to tell when there is something bothering her. Usually she's very chatty, and when she's quiet I'm like "ok whats wrong cuzzo?" She then tells me what the issue is that is going on in her life that day, and every time i'm thinking "yup, I knew there was something wrong." Well the same deal was with ashley and melissa. I knew immediately that there was an issue. I kept texting ashley every so often to try to figure out if something was wrong, but then when she responded, she basically told me that "it was God's will that we should probably not talk like we do right now." I was like "huh?!" So, we went from talking every day, to not talking at all. So for like the first two months it was hell because I was so used to chatting all the time.

Let me back up a bit. When ashley and I started to really connect, I kept my walls up. I told her I didn't want to allow myself to open up because I didn't want to risk getting hurt when she left. She was like "no I'm glad you're opening up. I want you to be open with me. I'm not going anywhere. Sad to say you're stuck with me! :P" So, trusting her word, I let my guard down, and let myself open up.

So, when she kicked me to the curb and said it was because "God wanted her to", I had trouble dealing with that at first. You could say I was telling myself "great, damn it, what the hell was I thinking! I knew I should have kept my walls up!"

So, since then, for a while we were not on foursquare or facebook together at all, but since then, we are connected again on both, but we don't talk. I figure I'm here if it ever changes (which I doubt it will), but I've tried to comment on foursquare and she never responds. However many months back, she told me if I was ever in Maine to let her know and she wanted to meet me. Well, I then got to maine a few weeks later and I messaged. I was literally like 20 minutes from her, but she never said anything back. So I thought "fuck it, I tried."

I've sense confirmed *although I knew this anyway*, that her and melissa are still thick as thieves, so I guess they both either individually or jointly decided to kick me to the curb because they couldn't be friends with each other and with me at the same time. I'm not sure what the issue is, but I've bee working through it.

So, moving on, yesterday, a cousin of mine up in connecticut, Dannielle (i've never met her in person, just through facebook so far), she started writing recently. So far from what I've noticed, just a short story. She messaged me on facebook and asked me if I would read what she wrote and give her feedback. I was like "sure why not." I mentioned that I have started writing a book of my own but havent worked on it for a while, and that I had like 100+ pages. She was like "Send it to me! I'd love to check it out and let you know what I think!" So, for the first time in a while, I felt inspired and thought "well maybe I'll get back to it and resume writing in the book." The next morning we were texting and she asked me to sum up what it was about, and i did, and she goes "actually I'm not into that stuff." So, I was like "so you don't want me to send it to you after all?" She was like "no, but it sounds like you got it pretty well figured out."

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't bummed by this. It goes back to someone saying something, ad then changing. I mentioned it to cousin mary and she was like "why would she ask and then change her mind?" I was like "hell if i know." But I again thought "i shouldnt have even said anything about my book, what the hell was I thinking?" I guess I really looked forward to her reading my book so far and letting me know what she thought. I got my hopes up too much apparently.

So, moving on from that, I was delivering at the bj's in burlington, nj yesterday afternoon, and another schneider driver was there waiting also. I could tell by his truck he was a lease operator and so of course we got to chatting. He was telling me about how on his good weeks he has paychecks of $2,000...and how on his bad weeks (like when he goes home for 3 days), he has like, 700-800. He said a few weeks ago he had a week where he made $4000, and so he made two extra truck payments and he was getting ready to pick up a load headed back towards his home in Mass, and he was basically going to go home for like 3 weeks. I was like "well damn." So, I was then bummed about that because that is the direction I'd ideally like to go as far as my job goes.

So, I'm trying to hold myself up the best that I can. I'm thankful that I have erin and the girls, and that I have Mary, her brother, and her parents (my aunt and uncle) up in connecticut. Other than that, there isn't really a long list of people I'd call true friends. I thought melissa was and I was mistaken. Then I thought Ashley was and she showed that we really werent.

On that note, a guy I've known since high school, whom I've always considered a really good friend, called me up two nights ago. It was great to hear from him. We literally talked for like an hour about how if he wins the lottery jackpot, he would split it with me, and so I was like "hey I'll do the same, if I win I'll split it with you but you'll have to come out to pa :P" It was great. We even talked about the pet site that I have wanted to do for a while. He's a programmer and has a lot of experience now and he asked me about if I still want to do my petsite. I was like, "hell yeah, but I can't afford to hire a programmer right now, and I especially can't afford you james!" He was like "no dude, I'd be doing it as a hobby, but I've got enough experience and I'm confident enough, that I know we can do it now if you want." So, I'm thinking I might re-register the domain names when I get my bonus next month, and get a small hosting package, and see if we can get art work started for the pets and items and stuff and we'll see what we can do! Part of me is trying to keep the walls up going "i don't know if I should go for it and get my hopes up". I guess that's what life is all about eh? You take chances, you go for the things that you want. I'd do that with leasing, but Erin's not ok with it after how england went and so without her blessing, I am sort of stuck where I'm at I figure. But pet site wise, maybe now's the time! I just have to figure out if Erin would do art work for us to start, and/or if there is anyone out there artist wise that can do pets and items for us without any issues. I guess we will find out! Time will tell!


So, in conclusion, I'm up here in Massachusetts right now. Got up here last night because this customer allows us to park the night before. Got here at midnight, got up by 7:15, checked in by 7:45, got docked in my door by 8:30, and have been just hanging out. So, in the mean time I got online and did my school posts, called our storage place out in iowa and payed the storage bill, and now here I am doing my blog. Yes I know, been a fun morning so far. I'm kind of hoping to be done here soon. My next load that I'm picking up is like a half hour from here and it is going straight to the yard in fairless so basically I'm shooting straight there and dropping the trailer, parking the truck, and going home for my time off. :-D

So, I included more pictures for your amusement. One is me showing off my two lottery tickets. Sadly, I wasn't the winner of the 550Million mega millions drawing. Oh well, I continue to get a few tickets each week in hopes that some day (hopefully soon), I will be able to come home full time. The other pictures are just random pictures I took with the web cam. Figured I get use out of the webcam this way, since I don't video chat with anyone on the computer any more.. :) Hope you all are well. God Bless!

walking in a freaking cold wonderland. :)

Woh it's nice and bitter cold out! So I got home late last night. It was like midnight. I got back to the fairless yard at like, 10:30, and it took me about 20 minutes with the car running and me using a scraper to be able to get the ice off the windshield. The other windows had absolutely nothing on them. Erin was having trouble getting to sleep, so she came down and met me in the kitchen where I was grabbing a quick bite and a glass of lemonade tea. So, erin got up and headed to work by 5, and I woke ally up by 6:20, and then I went back to bed for an hour and a half and then zoe was already awake. Our cable is out right now at home because we can't pay the bill till next week due to rent going out this week. I tried to get online on my laptop using my phone hot spot, but our signal in the house isn't always the greatest and I was really needing to send the rent off from our online banking so I brought my laptop with me when taking zoe to kindergarten. There are parent teacher conferences at 9:15 so when dropping zoe off at 8:40, I then parked and kept my engine running for heat and got online and got the rent check sent out, so at least that's done!

So I'm thinking I'm going to call that it for now. I might write more later but I want to get inside the school a little bit early. Hope you all are doing well and staying warm!

Snow time in New York

A change to the song lyrics "it's christmas time!!!! in the city!!!" Instead, tonight it's "it's snowy time!!!! in NEW YORK!!!!" lol. Yes I'm weird I know.

So I'm here at the same pilot that I was at when I posted the last post. This time, headed the other direction, BACK to Massachusetts. (I'll admit I typed the name of that state about four times before I finally spelled it right. :P ) So I picked up today out near buffalo new york. Picked up at Morton Salt, basically I picked up a load of (I thought it was going to be bags of sidewalk salt), but what it turned out to be was water softener. Then instead of being on I90 east the whole way (which was what I was expecting), schneider routed me south, then east, then north east bipassing about 200 miles of I90. Usually I prefer to stay on the major interstates like I90 but with all the snow that has been coming down, apparently the stretch of I-90 that I skipped got closed both directions because of several large accidents (sounded like pile ups). So, I guess it's good I went by schneider's routing.

So it was interesting because I got on this interstate that the pilot i'm parked at is off of, and I passed a few rest areas. Then went past an exit where I saw a large travel plaza with a large parking area for trucks. When I passed it I thought "shit I should have stopped there." The main thing tonight was, I could have easily made it to mass, but the next load wouldn't be ready until midnight, and I'd be out of hours by then, and wouldn't know where to park, so i put my eta for this one out to tomorrow morning, and then to pick up the next one that is headed towards home (for pick up around noon or earlier). Playing it safe so to speak.

Then I already have a bj load assigned for saturday when I come off of home time, and it's already loaded so when I get back towards fairless tomorrow, I'm going to keep going across into burlington, nj, pick up the next load, then head to fairless and park it for my time off. The last time I had the option to do that, I thought "oh, it'll be fine, I'll just pick it up saturday." Well then I came out saturday and instead of 450 miles, I ran 200 up to new york because they had given the assignment to a guy on friday while I was off, because they wanted to keep him rolling. So after that weekend being really bad, I messaged my driver leader and told him if it's available when I get to fairless, would it be an issue with me picking it up and parking the load in fairless for when I come back out saturday and he said that's no problem. Soooo, from now on, if I have the hours for it, I'm going to do that because the planners can't reassign a load when I have already accepted it and picked it up.

So anyway, yes another picture. This time because I'm multitasking (was doing school, but that's done for tonight, now eating and making a call about our comcast bill, while of course, getting ready to write this entry.. lol. i know, i'm UBER talented. )

So anyway, in conclusion of tonights "MOST EXCELLENT" blog entry.. (just kidding). ;) When I got parked, it wasn't snowing here. But when I came back out to the truck, it was snowing really hard, so I'm hoping *crosses fingers* that i'm not snowed in when I am trying to leave here. I would really like to make it back without any issues tomorrow. It's not a long load so hours wise I should be fine unless something happens to delay me. So, here's hoping it's smooth sailing all the way down!

So, on that note, I hope you all are well, and I will talk more again sometime soon (hopefully soon.. lol)

lovely day

It's always fun thinking to myself "what shall I write about today?"

So yes there are two pictures I've included with this post. One picture is just a face shot of myself. I literally typed "facial of myself" and then went "no that doesn't sound good on here." LOL Yup, you know what's on my mind I bet :P.

The other picture is basically a picture showing out the front of my truck where I'm parked and trucks keep coming in and getting in a long line waiting for fuel. This pilot truck stop out here in New York has quite a bit of parking, but its all congested together so if you're parked where there's a constant line of trucks, you're kind of screwed. So I found a spot where when I do get a clear getaway, and can pull out, I will have a straight shot to the exit. I will just pull straight out and not have to pull out and turn. I know I have to leave very soon because it's getting later and I know the later it gets, the more congested this place will get and it'll be even harder to leave.

I picked up my current load from the BJ's Wholesale Warehouse Distribution in Uxbridge, Massachusetts, and I'm delivering at a Bj's wholesale store in Rochester New York. I picked the load up last night, and the delivery is for midnight tonight, so I picked up the load, and parked for the night, and then like 9AM this morning I took off, drove about half way, stopped at this pilot. Ate, used the showers, and then came back out to the truck. Got online because sadly I'm still a online college student and today is day one of my new class and so I had to get online and do a couple of posts.

So now that those are out of the way, and its still clear traffic wise here in this truck stop parking lot, I know I'll be hitting the road soon. There was a little bit of snow today, but not too much. Right now it's not snowing at all. The other day when I came from Ohio back through PA towards Jersey, I was delayed pretty bad with freezing rain. I could see just fine and the road wasn't slick, but there were a few accidents, and there were cars driving 20 in a 60 mph zone, with me behind them thinking "wtf man?!" Then on top of that, my mirror heater wasn't working on my right side mirror. My left mirror was thawed, but my right mirror kept developing ice about one inch thick. I had to keep stopping at emergency stopping pull offs and clearing off the ice because I literally could not see.

Currently still a company driver for Schneider. I love my job, but I'll admit, I've thought a lot the past few months about wanting to be able to make more for what I do. I don't necessarily want to leave schneider. What I really want is to go the truck ownership route because the money wise you can do so much better. Course, the only issue is I mention it at home or in text about how I'm really not happy staying as a company driver because I have never liked "getting dispatched," and I get blown off or ignored. What I want is to some day be dispatching myself. Still be with schneider, just be lease purchasing my truck and within a year or so, owning it, and dispatching my own loads. They have a couple options. You can be dispatched, basically them saying "here's a load assignment," which you run what they give you. You can dispatch yourself, where you basically go on the computer and look at all the loads around the area you are in or will be in, and you assign yourself what loads you want. You can get paid by mileage, or get paid per load. From all the lease drivers, or owner operators that were previously lease that I have talked to, paid per load and assigning yourself is definitely the way to go. I've not heard one bad thing about going that route through schneider. a few even were like "here dude this is my pay stub" and they showed me how they had a paycheck in a week of over $2,000. So, yes I'd like to go that route. I tried to before but I was sort of, over ruled by the wife and CPA we work with. So, since I didn't have her support, I waited. But it's been a while since then and we talked about how we'd "re-discuss" in like 6 months or so, and yet here we are, I try, and I'm ignored, so I figure oh well, I'll stay where I'm at, doing what i'm doing, making what I'm making and just make the most of it.

That's how it is with us all isn't it? Just basically trying to make ends meet, and trying to stay positive about things even when you might not be happy? And don't get me wrong, it's not an "i'm unhappy with my job". It's an "i'm unhappy with just being a company driver, not having control over where I go, and making paychecks that I know could definitely be higher" type of happy. Buuuut, I can't change it without her support, so again, I will suck it up and just make the most of it.

Anyway, I gotta hit the road and get going, so I'll leave you all with that. Hope you all are doing well and talk more soon. :)

brrrrr

Wow, it got cold! So today is day 1 of my 6 day rotation. I picked up at the Fairless hills yard by like, noon-ish, delivered in burlington this afternoon, picked up my bj's load from there and took off towards ohio. The Bj's I just got unloaded at is in North Canton, Ohio, and sadly this is the only bj's that they don't allow us to park at when we are done being unloaded. Thankfully there's a TA down the street and i've had really good luck on saturday's the last 3 times I have delivered here and have been able to get a parking space at that TA. So I'll be heading down there in a bit. While I was being unloaded, I had my phone with me, and the hotspot turned on and I was on my computer working on school stuff. My way of thinking was that I would get done what I need to get done so that when I was unloaded and finished here, I could literally go find a space to park and cover my windows, turn on my bunk heater and go to sleep. The last 2 or 3 hours before I got here, I was dragging really bad.

On a positive note *since i don't think I have the energy to write a long ass blog. Not that I don't want to, I juts am too damn tired.* I've been working on losing weight the past month-ish. 4-5 weeks back I was 265 lbs. 2 weeks ago I was 254, last week I had only dropped one pound to 253, but I made a change. I've been bringing these containers of sun flower seed kernals with me. I did the dry roasted thinking "healthier" and they are. But what I didn't realize was I had gotten the "salted" ones, and apparently there's a lot of sodium. So the last time I shopped for truck food, this time I still got dry roasted, but I got unsalted. Then when I was home for home time this friday (yesterday), when I weighed myself I weighed 250.5. So, I was happy to see that change. My ultimate goal is to be down around 210. I know technically I can get even lower if I keep working at it. When I began the process of going into the military, I was 215. I went out every other day and ran or walked a few miles, then the days in between, I went to the YWCA and would do the weights and then raquetball. By the time I shipped out, I was down to 195. When I got out of basic training I was 160 and had a huge flab of a gut because of all the weight I lost and had basically excess skin with no fat anymore. I don't necessarily want to get down that low, but I think 200 would be nice. I don't want to be a skin and bones build either, but I'd like to be in better physical shape than I am now.

So anyway, I've been unloaded and as soon as this blog entry is posted, I'll be heading down to the TA to try to get parked. Definitely going right to bed! What a day. ;) Hope you all are well!

C

xanga is now paid?

Well I was surprised today. I went to log onto my Xanga blog for the first time in probably like, 6 months, and apparently they've upgraded their site. Now it's Xanga 2.0. I thought "cool, new features." But then I went to log in and the only thing I was able to do was download a zip file of my blog. I checked out how to upgrade to the 2.0 and apparently its like $48 per year. I'm like "really? Well that sucks!" So, looks like I've gone from a blog on blogger and xanga to being only here on blogger. Yes I know I tend to go a while between blog entries some times. What can I say? Some times I just feel the urge to write. Other times, whether I feel the urge to write or not, I'm too busy with other stuff like school and home stuff and I just can not fit everything in that I want to do. So, hopefully I can bring myself on here more (i know I know, I always say that), but it really is always a goal of mine to blog as often as possible. Writing is good for the soul. ;) *yes I know that was corny. lol) So anyway, I'm in CT right now, parked at a Weigh Station from last night when I ran out of hours, and I'm going to be headed up towards Shrewbury, MA. Then picking up a load there that is headed to a BJ's in New York, and then from there I have a 330PM pickup tomorrow that is headed to Burlington, NJ (or as I usually refer to it when I'm loaded up back that way on my home day, "my home bound load". So anyway, thanks for reading and I'll talk to you again next time!

C

Was a nice church service

So today was really nice. We were up by 8:45 so we could get ready for church. They went back to the fall/spring schedule where they have church starting at 10:30 instead of 9:30. But I'm happier about that because that means that on sunday, we dont have to get up nearly as early. This morning on the other hand, we got up early because our church was doing a breakfast at 9:30.

So we got up, and got to st mary's by 9:30. Breakfast was basically fruit, bagels with cream cheese, muffins, orange juice and apple juice. Not too bad. I always enjoy bagels. Especially ones like blueberry ones, or sesame seed ones, and then you add cream cheese. For the most part, usually i'm a plain cream cheese kinda guy, but this morning, I really enjoyed this one that was bacon and something else. For the most part, it had a pretty strong bacon flavor. I guess that just goes along with the saying that "everything is better with bacon."

You know, I tried to think of something that I could say that saying is wrong, but honestly I couldnt think of anything. Think of it. *well, everything is only better with bacon if you like bacon. If you cant stand bacon, hate it, whatever, then obviously adding bacon to something will only make you not like it. It'd be like saying "everything is better with pickles!". Yes some people will eat pickles with anything, and think they are the greatest thing since sliced bread. I, on the other hand, absolutely can not stand pickles, and so if you take something like cheeseburgers, which I loooove, and then you give me one and I take a bite and realize that it has pickles on it, I end up spitting the bite out and possibly not eating the burger. Thats how much I dont like pickles.*

But back to the "everything is better with bacon" saying, lets approach this as if i'm addressing anyone else out there that is like me, ie: a bacon lover. ;) So anyway, take omelettes for example. Omelettes with bacon? Yum-oh! Cheeseburgers? HECK YES! Bacon in pancake batter apparently is kick-ass too. When erin got me this package from baconfreak.com *you should def check it out*, it had bacon pancake batter, and this bacon seasoning, and it was like "@_@ ohmygosh!" Back in the day when I was married to Lori, I couldnt have bacon too often because Lori freaked out at the smell of bacon. We could never have bacon in the house, because I could not even cook it because she'd get sick from the smell. So, whenever we would go to a buffet for breakfast, and they'd have bacon, usually i'd get regular breakfast stuff like eggs, hashbrowns, etc, and then i'd pile on the bacon strips, like get 15 strips of bacon. Yes it was overboard, but when I couldnt get bacon otherwise, i got as much as i could whenever i "could" get bacon. Now-a-days though, whenever I would go to the TA and order breakfast over the past few months *since erin likes bacon and I dont have to go without or anything*, i find that sometimes I order bacon, sometimes I order sausage patties. Its one of those things now where I dont feel like i "have" to take advantage of it. Jack in the box tacos are something else, because they dont have that restaurant out here, so anytime i've been out on the road and I've seen a place I could stop with the truck, that was near a jack in the box, i jumped on it and would stop there. 2 tacos for 99 cents? Cant beat that with a stick!

Its interesting, as I started this entry, I was like "i dont know what to write about...this entry is going to be short", yet as soon as I started talking about food, or bacon to be more specific, suddenly my fingers were just going at it. I never know how much I will be able to write. I always want to write as much as possible, but some days its just like "ok, my mind is blank." That's the interesting thing about being a writer, is that I always want to write and write, but i often dont have a preplanned thing about what I want to write about. That makes continueing my book a bit difficult because I really want to continue and to finish it *which I will definitely finish it*, but since "planning" isnt my strong suit *ie: i have trouble planning, i'm more the push forward and just 'do'*.

So I know once I get caught up with where i'm at in my book, and I resume writing in it to continue the story, I will have to keep motivating myself to keep writing almost every day, because just like blogging, its hard to get started up again if you have allowed yourself to get out of the habit. So, the way I see it is, i just need to get myself back in the habit of adding to my book, and perhaps when I do end up finishing it, and get it published, it'll be a best seller *God willing*, and then it'll be the same thing, where I might then begin a 2nd book and maybe I can become a full time writer for a living. Who knows! lol. Yes I know a lot of you, like how my parents were when I told them I really wanted to attend Spartan College of Aeronautics so I could become a professional airline pilot, a lot of you might read what I wrote about maybe being able to write full time in the future, and respond like "right, good luck, fat chance of that happening. thats not a very stable career."

So, I think I will close on that note, although I think i could ramble on for a bit. So I will leave you all with this tonight. If you have hopes and dreams of doing something for a living, dont give it up. When I couldnt succeed at getting myself into the career of flying *not for lack of trying, but more so for lack of money to get myself started in the school, I believe had I managed to get into the school and get started, I know I would have completed it*, well when I couldnt pull that off, because I have always loved to drive and have always been really good at long distance driving, I had thought for a while that truck driving would be something I would be good at. Is it something I want to do for a long time? Not exactly. In fact, I'm still open to trying to get into flying professionally, or getting into something else, but a professional driver is what I am for a while apparently. We'll see what life brings. But anyway, *sorry, I rambled*. What I was saying is this. If you've had hopes and dreams about something you want to do with your life, then go for it no matter what others tell you! your parents, friends, or other people in your life. might not understand why you want to be a professional race car driver, or massage therapist. We have no control over the things that we desire to do with our lives. God has laid out a road map of our lives, and although the choice is up to us, there is a career for everyone, and if we follow where we are called, and end up in that career God intended, then we will not only be happy in that career, but we will be at peace too. This is whether or not it is a high paying career. As long as you are doing something that you are passionate about, good at, and love doing, then money shouldnt be as important. Too many people pick a career based off of what they will make in their salary, and then they are always pissy because they have never been happy in their job. I think my mom is like this with her career as a nurse (CRNA), because she went into that field mainly because she knew that there would always be a demand of nurses. Sooo, find something you want to do passionately, and dont let anything stop you from doing it. That way when you are much older, you can look back and say "i did it! People doubted me, and said it was a bad career, or bad thing to do, but i succeeded!" After all, its your life! Live it! Thats all peeps! Hope you have a great night! God bless! and talk to you again soon!

C