Day 28

Good day everybody. This morning, Erin's mom headeded back home. Erin had to work. Her mom had gotten Lex a lap top computer for her birthday, and she ended up being a bit regretful about it mainly because it was so much computer for a 9 year old. What she had said to Erin in her defence about getting Lex a computer at such a young age was that she wants Lex to not be so behind the rest of the grand kids. Apparently a lot of them already have their own computers and are very computer savvy. The funny thing, at least for me, is that I never had my own computer till I was a junior in High School. We had a desk top computer at home, which was the family computer, and even with not having my own computer I still learned how to be very good at computers. My parents even referred to me as their computer wiz. Even after I left home, sometimes they would have problems with their computer and call me. For instance, one day my dad called me and said "Our computer has over 350 cookies. I called a tech guy and he said he would charge $300 for me to have him come out and take care of it." I was like "Holy Crap dad! Cookies are easy to take care of! You don't need to pay $300.00 to get it taken care of. I will come home and clean up your computer for free!"

So I did. After that point, any time they had a problem, I was the first person they called. Times have changed quite a bit. I haven't had to help them with computer issues in a while. I don't know if its because of how different my life is now, if it's because they have learned how to do things themselves, or if my younger sisters take care of it now for them. I know they no longer just have a desktop PC. They do have the desk top (not the same one I grew up with, but a newer faster one fortunately), but my mom has her own laptop. When I watched her on it trying to download music or an audio book from itunes, I could still tell that they are not the 'greatest" with them, but they are much better now. I guess a lot of people that didn't grow up with computers are making it a point to simply learn how to do the basics. They still don't know the in depth stuff, but they know how to operate and clear cookies and such. That stuff is pretty easy.

So anyway, moving on! About the laptop grandma bought Lex. The day she got here, I jokingly said "You know? There is a Best Buy in Davenport if you want to exchange for a smaller computer!" with a wink. When she was saying she was going to get Lex a laptop, Erin recommended getting her a netbook. She told her about my computer, how nice and compact it is, how I can still do everything I did on my old larger laptop, but how much better the netbook is. I love it! I got a Dell Inspiron mini, which has similar, if not maybe even better specs than my old Gateway. My gateway has a few things that made it a very big neusance. 1st thing was the battery life. From the day I bought it, the battery life was nothing like what it claimed. It said "Approximately 4 hours of battery life!"

What they didn't say was "you have to pretty much be doing absolutely nothing in order for it to last that long!" I swear! I never did 'a lot' on the computer that you would think it would die quick. I mainly browsed, listened to music, did college course work, etc, and my average battery time was maybe a little over an hour. One time it died in about 45 minutes. IT SUCKED! Problem #2. After I had it for about a year, a few of my keys fell off. I reattached some of them, but they kept coming off. I knew I was just patching it up temporarily and that pretty soon I would have to put it to rest. The only prob was, and I was well aware of this, that I knew I couldn't afford to buy a replacement computer immediately. We moved here to Clinton, lived here for a little over a year, and then I finally unpacked the computer. Problem number 3 with it was the ac adapter outlet. I don't know if it was the cord, or the outlet. Melissa remembers me talking about this. I could plug it in, and sometimes it would charge, sometimes not. If I rotated the plug, sometimes I could get it to start charging. So I, at one time, took scotch tape and got it to start charging, and then taped the plug in the position it was in. That worked for a while. I called around and researched what it would cost to just get my laptop repaired. The cheapest quote was $250.00 just for the repair. There was added costs because of me having to ship my computer to them.

Well as we neared tax time, I decided that for school I really needed a working computer. I also decided after talking it over with Erin, that instead of going for the same type of computer that Erin has (Macbook), I would go with a netbook. These smaller versions of laptops range in price from $250 to $500. The one Erin and I selected was priced around $350.00. After taxes and such, it was over $400.00. I wasn't sure what to expect. All I know was the day I got my laptop and started running the window's updates on it, and started doing things on it, I love it. My gateway was 15 inches wide. It was so heavy and not very easy to carry around. My netbook is ten inches, very lightweight. I literally can walk around carrying it in one arm without any possibility of dropping it. The gateway had to always be plugged in because of the short battery lilfe. My Dell netbook can last 7 hours unplugged. Having had to keep my old laptop plugged in, I am always running my netbook unplugged. The only time I use it while being plugged in is if I am playing World of Warcraft. It can last maybe 2-3 hours unplugged when on that game. I figured this would be the case because of the intense graphics that the game has.

So anyway, back to grandma getting Lex the big dell laptop. When I joked around about best buy, she actually thought it was a good idea. Apparently she was already thinking about wanting to exchange it. Well, last night she said "I want to talk to you about something. How about tomorrow you and I take two cars out to Davenport. I want to go to Best buy and go ahead and exchange the computer for a netbook." I was like "I'm confused. Why do we need to take two cars?" "I'm leaving to go back tomorrow." She said. I hadn't thought about that. I knew she was leaving on Sunday. Now it totally made sense. Saturday morning, while we were eating breakfast before heading out to Lex's soccer game, I was talking to her about netbooks and why they are so awesome. I told her how mine is actually as fast as my regular laptop was. I told her how I could still do everything I would normally do and it handled them great. I logged onto it and let her play around with it. From what Erin told me, when Erin recommended 'netbooks' for Lex, her mom thought she said "Notebooks." Well I guess seeing how well mine ran convinced her that a netbook was a much better fit for Lex's first computer.

I had mentioned to Erin after the talk about going to Davenport that I was just concerned with gas. I am pretty good about making my gas tank in my truck last between paychecks. Lately I have only been filling up one out of my two tanks. Sometimes as I'm a few days away from payday I have to really stretch it thin, but usually I have been able to make it. She talked to her mom and her mom said she'd be more than willing to help me out with gas. That was great. So this morning when Erin left, Lex wanted to ride with Grandma, and they were going to follow me. We stopped by the gas station and she put $15.00 into my truck. I was perfectly happy with that because I was on a quarter tank and $15 would be enough to get me out to Davenport and back and still have enough to last me the few days until the next pay day. Thank God for GPS! once we got into Davenport and on the right street, I recognized the area immediately. We were right smack dab in the middle of one of my Route areas from when I was a Schwans driver. Ah the memories. ;)

Thankfully I kept Zoe happy on the way there when it was just she and I riding together, because I brought a baggy filled with two different kinds of cereal for her to munch on. I realized shortly after we left that I forgot to bring a binky. When we got there, my back silently squeeled at me when I climbed out of the truck. 45 minutes of sitting and bumps, still in recovery from when I hurt it apparently. So we went into the store, and flagged down a sales rep. We immediately went to where the netbooks were, and grandma showed lex which 3 she had narrowed her options down to. The one Lex chose was cheaper than mine cost, but had a slightly larger hard drive. The big difference is operating system. Mine came with Windows 7 and Lex's computer is XP. Both are very good operating systems. When we left, I figured we should have a few dollars in our account still, and I knew the ride home without a binky would be hell. So we stopped at Target just down the road. Looking at the binkies, the cheapest pair was $2.69. As far as I knew, we only had $2.40 in our bank account. So I called our HR Block emerald card. Last time I checked it was when I drove down to Des Moines to meet the grandparents so that I could pick Ally up and bring her home. Sort of a "meet in the middle" kind of arrangement when Ally had been down there with them for a week. I literally was going to run out of gas and I pulled off at a gas station. I pulled my wallet out and pulled out every card I had, 99% were prepaid cards with one being the income tax HR block card. Thank the Lord, the emerald card had $16.00 on it. I put gas in and we made it home. Until that happened, I did not know what was going to happen.

I remember driving the usual 5 MPH above the speed limit and thinking "what am I going to do? We will make it home. How though? It doesn't matter. Thank you Lord for being with us. Thank you Lord, for I know that we will make it home. I know that you are watching out for us." Well then to hear on the card, expecting only like $2.00 or something, "You're emerald card account balance is $16.58." I was like "THANK YOU!" When we were at target, I thought "lets see how much is on the cards I have." The first card I dialed was the emerald card. Seeing as I put $16.00 in gas in, and the balance had just been a little over that prior to that fill up from what I could remember, I was positive that the emerald card would be a no-go. When I entered the card number, it said "Your emerald card account balance is $6.47." I looked up again and once again said "Thank you God." The thoughts going through my head again were that I walked into target knowing what I needed, and God was watching out for us. Not only did he make it possible for me to get the binkies Zoe needed, but I bought a box of 100 Calorie snack packs for us to munch on on the way home. It wasn't a lot to eat, but I figured a snack would be enough for the ride home and we could make lunch at home.

Faith, for me, is very hard. It's always been hard for me to just give it all to God and have 'faith' that he is taking care of it. But with how lately I am giving everything negative in my life, all worrysome thoughts, cares, stresses, etc, to him, I have also noticed other things. I think I already mentioned this, but at Erin's job, they are now going to train her on another part of the restaurant. That means Erin will be more useful to them. She will get more hours, and possibly get payed more and be happier with working there. While I was walking around doing my rounds at work, I was thinking about this. After a few minutes, what occurred to me was this. I have been giving everything troubling me to God. Thanking him for us both being employed. Asking him to continue blessing us in our job. Acknowledging the fact that 'yes we do not make enough to pay the bills,' but that I know in my heart that through His help, everything will be taken care of. Shortly after that, Erin is in a way moving up. There can be only one explanation, and it is that God is in control of everything. He is the one who is responsible for all the good that happens in life.

Tonight when we were all hanging out here at the house, I layed down on the couch just to relax. Well, I was tired before then and I really felt it when I layed on the couch. Cool breeze coming through the window, I was very comfortable and I easily was dozing off. I didn't really get a "nap." I just dozed off for a little while. Zoe needed some more diapers and so I took the girls with me and went to the store to grab some. I decided I really didn't feel like cooking, so I picked up meals that you can cook in the microwave or bake in the oven. They were good, but apparently extremely rich. I had similar problems with my stomach that I did when I ate pizza ranch the other night. Apparently my stomach prefers me to eat very light foods. OH WELL!

I had to do some more work on my english paper, but wanted to get some world of warcraft time in. I decided I would first log on to WoW, and play for a while. I ended up leveling my new mage from 3 to 6 in probably about an hour and a half. I love that character! My priest will always be my #1 and favorite character, but my mage is definitely worthy of being #2. After I reached a point where I was ok with logging off, I shut the computer down. I went and got dinner ready, and after we ate, I logged back on the computer and continued my english paper. We will see what my teacher has to say about it in the morning. I have a meeting at 8:30 with her. Conferences of some kind. All the students had to sign up for a time slot to meet one on one with the teacher. I don't know if we will just talk about the paper, or about the whole class, or what. Although I'm dreading it, I signed up for 8:30 figuring that I wanted to get it out of the way first thing so that I could just go home and maybe go back to bed for a little bit. Erin's working, so Zoe will be at the sitter, which will give me at least a few hours to catch up on sleep.

So in closing, I would appologize for this mile long entry, but I'm not going to. ;) I'm a writer. Hardcore to the bone, and I'm not afraid to show it. In fact, the more that comes out of me through writing, the better I feel. The other day when I wrote in my book, I took my book from page 85 to page 92. I got on a good track and I opened up my mind even further and I just went with everything that came through. I do have my dry spells where I want to write, but don't have much coming to mind, as I'm sure Melissa has also had. However, even on those days, I will still write as much as my mind will allow me. If it turns out to be a short entry, or short addition to the book, so be it, but I will write every day none the less.

The lesson for today will be this. Faith. Like I said, it is so hard. To simply say "I have faith that this will work itself out," and believe in it, is hard as hell. But when you are able to give it completely over to Him, and have complete faith in what you are praying for, then amazing things happen. The best part of all is that when they happen, you will be able to tell. I know not everyone out there is a religious person, and if that is the case with any of you, then obviously this won't mean anything to ya. For those of you that know where I'm coming from, I'm sure you will understand and hopefully agree about this. That is pretty much the lesson for today. Have faith, believe, and know that He is working on it. The bible says "Ask and you shall receive," and "knock and the door will be opened to you." Think about it. ;) I will write more for you all tomorrow.

Thanks for being here.

CB

Day 27

Good evening everybody. Today was one of those semi-sleepless days. I got off at 6, rushed home hoping that I might be able to get into bed and to sleep quickly. Ally's soccer game was scheduled for 10:15 and so I knew I didn't have a lot of time. I got upstairs by 6:20, but had to get my phone working again. At about 4 this morning, it died. Just an hour earlier than that, I'm sure, when I looked at the phone it still had two bars. I don't know what happened. I know that when I plugged it in, after a few minutes I was able to get it to turn on. I don't know how it completely died, but oh well.

So, at 6:40 I was finally going to sleep. I set my alarm for 9:45, but Zoe decided to wake us up at 8:30. I hobbled out of the room, and into Zoe's room, picking her up. As is usually the case whenever I have been only on 2 hours of sleep, I swayed back and forth, just trying to clear my head and wake up. When I wake up that quickly after going to sleep, I always feel super up tight and cranky. It takes me a little bit to completely wake up. I gave Zoe her binkie, and layed her back down, and gave her a kiss. When I did that, she rubbed her eyes, and looked like she was ok with the idea of going back to sleep.

Then I crawled back in bed and told myself "one more hour. At least one more hour." By 9:20 or 9:30 though, Lex was coming in saying "Mom wants to know if you want pancakes and bacon." So I was like "Tell her I'm coming." Climbed out of bed, still swaying back and forth. Got dressed, and came downstairs. Drank a few sips of a mountain dew, but did not finish it.

I've been trying really hard to eat a heck of a lot better lately. For instance, I might eat cereal or some eggs for breakfast. For lunch lately I have been making myself a salad. Sometimes I put things like croutons, light ranch, and a table spoon of bacon bits. It could even be just croutons and light ranch. A few times I have boiled eggs and then diced the hard boiled eggs (max of two of them usually) into the salad. The great thing about hard boiled egg in a salad is it makes the salad fill you up better.

Then I don't concern myself with how big or healthy dinner is, and then on the nights when I'm working over night, I will make a salad and take it with me to work, eating it in the middle of the night. Plus now I'm enrolled in the water aerobics class taking place on Tuesday and Thursday at 7AM. I figure, I would like to technically exercise at least 3 times a week. So I am thinking that on Friday or Saturday when I get off, I will change into my windpants and running shoes and will go for a jog/walk, or whatever. I'm not sure where I would go. Maybe I would just take off down 4th street and go till I get about 10-20 blocks south, and then come over to 3rd st and head back up towards home.

I actually enjoy the salads. After having done them for the past four or five days, and trying to mainly drink water, I have been feeling better physically. This routine I'm in was the same type of diet and exercise plan I followed when I lived in Newton with my parents prior to shipping off for the Air Force. I tried to eat a light breakfast, go for a walk or run, drink lots of water, eat a light lunch, every other day I would go to the Y and either lift weights or hit around in the racquet ball court. When i arrived in Newton, from Montana when my ex and I initially split up, I had dropped from over 230 lbs to 212. Then during the two months I was following this plan before I shipped off, I went from 212 to 192lbs. I'm looking forward to dieting and exercising this way and maybe 2 or 3 months down the road, step on a scale and be down near 210. It can be done. I know it can. Then I can continue doing the same routine and slowly work my way below 200.

So today, Lex's soccer game played as scheduled even though it had rained yesterday. We were happy about that. They have already come so far in just the 2 games that they have played. This time they looked like an entirely new team. They were defending more, and being able to get the ball down the field more. Big weaknesses are still: taking shots on the goal when close enough to the goal, and attacking the ball. Some of the girls would keep backing up as the other team came into their end of the field. We would yell "GET HER! TAKE THE BALL! DON'T BE AFRAID OF IT!" and they would say "I'm not afraid of it! I'm just waiting for them!" We'd be like "DONT! JUST RUN UP AND TAKE IT!" It will take time.

Lex's 2 part birthday party went really well. First she had a party at Claires. The girls were able to try on stuff, and play dress up. Zoe even walked around the stoor putting on glasses, beads, and just having a blast. We didn't have a regular camera with batteries, so I had the digital video camera with us. I recorded 40 minutes of the claires party. It only lasted maybe 20 minutes longer. One of the photos posted here is when the staff at claires took the girls outside and took pictures of them all dressed up. The 2nd part of the party was at Pizza Ranch. There was me, Erin, Lex, Grandma, her friend Michelle and michelle's mom. When it was 7PM, Eric and Sophie hadn't showed up yet. We were just getting ready to call to see what was going on and they walked in. It was nice to see them. Pizza Ranch was good. For lunch today, I made salads for Erin and I. I figured I knew that dinner was going to be big, so I knew it would be worth the usual salad lunch.

After pizza ranch, my stomach was twisting constantly. I guess all that grease did not sit well with me. I should have taken it easy, but I figured I would enjoy it while I could. My mistake! It's all good. The other picture you see posted here is from Pizza Ranch. They had someone dressed up as a chicken and dancing while they sang happy birthday to Lex.

In closing, things are going pretty good. We still have a ways to go, but things will get better. In fact, tonight I mentioned to Erin that I was planning to apply for the openings of Sherifs Deputies here in town. She was surprised. Well when we got home, I mentioned that I should call the national guard recruiter to ask him what the word was on whether or not I would be cleared for the jobs I listed. She mentioned that if I was going to try to be a deputy, something about, why would I try to join the guard? I'm not sure exactly what she said, something like that. I'm sure she will comment here clearing that up if she wants to. ;)

I will write more for you tomorrow.

Thanks for being here!

CB

Day 26

Today was a better day as far as the amount of sleep is concerned. When I first layed down to go to sleep, I thought "wait, I forgot to pray." What's funny is this. Usually when I pray before going to sleep, I kneel beside the bed. Well when I thought about it, I was laying in bed, covers pulled up high. My eye lids were already heavy, and I knew I would be gone soon. So to make up for not kneeling, I rolled over partially on my side, but with my head bowed. As soon as I layed back down again, I was gone in probably a minute. Erin had work today, so she was taking Zoe to the sitter. From the moment I went to sleep, the next thing I remember is just before 2PM, my phone going off. I have it set on silent usually when I go to sleep *because too many things come through on my phone; emails, texts, calls, etc*. But what I did was in the settings I set Erin's profile up so that if she calls no matter what I have the current volume set to, her's will come through loud and clear. Not on texts, just on phone calls.

When I initially woke up, I had to run downstairs for a minute to help Erin with Zoe. I carried Zoe upstairs, and layed her in her bed *which she did not complain one bit. In fact, she was rubbing her eyes sleepily*. Then I went and climbed back into bed myself. I didn't know if I was going to be able to go back to sleep or not. I just wanted to savor and enjoy the feeling of being in a nice and comfortable bed. Erin came up, and after a little while we both went downstairs. She put on "Super Size Me" on netflix. I saw that with my mom a while ago, so I got onto WoW. I wasn't really having a good time with the warlock I created. I was dying too easily. With my priest, I could take on characters that are 2 or 3 levels higher than me, without getting killed every time. With my warlock, I'm level 3 trying to hit level 4, and I kept getting attacked by level 6's. I would take their health down almost to 1/4 level, but then I would usually have to try to run away or die. They took my health down just a little bit faster than I could theirs.

So, I went back into the new character section, and created a Mage. I think a Mage is kind of like a witch. Lots and lots of magic abilities that they can learn as they level up. I accepted a few quests right off the bat, and right away I was easily taking out characters that were 2 levels ahead of me. By the time I killed them, they probably only hit me twice. I looked over at Erin and said "I think I will get rid of my warlock. I'm just not enjoying that character. The mage on the other hand is great!" For me, I don't "disslike" video games. The things that turn me off to them are if it is played to extreme. Like, my former brother in law in Texas was on his PS2 playing Dynasty Warriors almost 24 hours a day. He would stop to do the basic functions like eat, sleep, shower, use the rest room, then back to dynasty warriors. He always asked me if I would team up with him, and I never would. The reason was, I was sick of the game. I saw it so much, that even without playing it, I didn't like it. It got to be that way for WoW too after I was divorced because the ex got so into it with her friends on WoW that thats all she wanted. FUN TIMES!

So anyway, I leveled the Mage up almost to level 4 in about 30 minutes. I was like "DamN! Piece of cake!" So I think I may have found my 2 characters. A mage and a priest. One that will end up with a hell of a lot of magic, and one that has some magic, but also the ability to heal and ressurect.

Moving on! Last night at work, I spent a lot of extra time out in the parking lot. We have had a young kid prowling. I think I already talked about them. Well, after he/she showed up two nights in a row, the parking lot was much more heavily guarded last night. Only this time though, no sign of him at all. I told the house supervisor "I hope you really gave him a scare, because I haven't seen any signs of him so far tonight." Even as it got to 5AM and I only had an hour left, the parking lot had been nice and quiet all night. There was not a single random person walking through. We had a Charter Bus, which I thought was interesting. I stopped to talk to the driver, and asked what they were at the ER for. Apparently they were transporting a junior high girls soccer team. One of the girls took a soccer ball to the face and her eye was swollen.

So just after 5 this evening, we got a call from Erin's mom. She had been on the road for a while, and was still about an hour away. We went up into the guest room that we loaded some of the furniture in that threw my back out, and put up a curtain rod and some small curtains. We brought sheets up for the bed. At just after 6, her mom arrived. We all loaded up in Erin's car and went to a local mexican restaurant for dinner. While we were there, Ally asked Erin if she could try cherry coke. Erin thought "Sure why not. It's your birthday." Well, when she was half way done with this huge cherry coke glass, she was so hyper. We really don't let her have caffeinated beverages. Soda's for her are anything that is caffeine free, such a sprite and such. It was funny. Both Betsy (her mom) and I looked at her and were like "You let her get coke?" LOL. Yeah, well I understand what Erin thought. It's Ally's special time and the most harm it'd do to her is make her extremely hyper. Thats where having her run laps around the house and doing some of her gymnastics bridges comes in handy. Easy way to tire her back out! ;)

This morning, I thought to myself "Should I do the friday morning deep water-aroebics? Or should I figure go with the Tuesday Thursday one that I had them write my name down for?" By the time I was home, it was already 20 after 6. I got Lex's breakfast on the table, grabbed a small bowl of cereal myself, and decided that I was really tired. With how much sleep I got yesterday, I decided I would watch another episode of Season 1 of Hercules. That's when I had gotten on WoW first today, only that time I tried to see if it'd get easier on my warlock. Nope, I died so many times in the 30 minutes that I was online. At 7:28, I shut the tv off and was like "Ok Lex! Time to go!"

In closing, when Betsy arrived, and we all loaded into Erin's car to go to dinner, the first thing she said was "You're truck is huge Chris!" Telling someone you have a Ford F250 XLT, and explaining how long it is, that apparently doesn't do it. When they SEE it, they are like "DAMN!" I think I will call that it for tonight. I will write more for you all tomorrow.

Thanks for being here!

CB

Day 25

Wow. It amazes me that in just under a week I will have gone an entire month of writing in this blog. When I was at work on my first day of the week, Tuesday to be exact, I was outside briefly talking to the maintenance man and the house supervisor. They were outside taking a smoke break. I wasn't though. I have never been, nor do I ever see myself being a smoker. No way! So anyway, we were standing there, and this dark figure walked slowly past. The individual looked to me like a teen. Not quite 5' 9", pretty thin, black sweat pants, black sweat shirt with the hood over their head so you couldn't see them clearly. When they walked past us Tuesday night, all 3 of us went "hmmm, that's suspicious." I followed them from a distance to see where they went, and when they went north on 4th street and away from the hospital I let it go, but kept a close eye out any time I was outside.

Last night while I was out on the other side of the parking lot, the house supervisor called me. She was like "You know that kid we saw last night?" I was like "Yes?" to which she replied "He just tried to break into my car." I asked her what exactly happened, and she said that he came up from the direction I had followed him the night before, that she had come out for a break, and that he just walked right up to her car and tried to see if the door was unlocked. The lights came on in her car, and she basically yelled "HEY! WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU DOING!" The kid apparently whirled around, seeming surprised, hands up in the air, and then took off running. When I got over there, I couldn't find him. He was apparently long gone. She told the rest of the staff about the prowler, so that everyone could keep a close eye out. Tonight I let the 2nd shift house supervisor know about it, so that if the kid changes up his approach and tries earlier, people will be more prepared.

So this morning, I got off right at 6. I didn't have to sit one on one with any patients so I was able to get off when I was supposed to. Went home, got Lex's cereal on the table for her, went upstairs and turned her light on. Today is officially Alexandria's 9th birthday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALLY! (Not that you will read this, but hey ;) ) After a few minutes, I went in there and she had pulled the covers over her head. I pulled them off, then said "Drum roll please!" I started drumming my finger tips on the railing as though it were a drum. "Happy birthday to you!" Pause, then I'd tickle her side "tickytickyticky", followed by her saying "doooooooooonnnnnnnnnnt." Then I'd go on. "Happy birthday TOOOO you! tickytickyticky!" "DOOOONNNT!" she would say again. "Happy BIRTHDAY to Lexi! Happy birthday too (I'd mimic the word "too" the way the bird delivering the baby elephant in dumbo sings), YOU! tickytickyticky!" O:-)

Better than 9 birthday spankings I guess. :) When it was close to 7, ally had eaten and was laying on the couch across from me. This morning I finally decided that I should officially get into the water aerobics. So at 6:50, I said to Ally "Lex, I will be back. I have an exercise class I'm going to. Just hang out down here and watch tv, and I should be back just after 7:30 some time. Maybe 7:45 or whatever. Then I will take you to school myself in the truck." She was like "OK!"

The pool exercise is fun. I handed the lady at the desk my YWCA membership card, and went into the pool area. As soon as I came through the doors, I could see that there were probably about 15 to 20 people in the pool. Everyone appeared to be up there in age. When I told Erin about it, I said "senior's." Well I took off my shirt and shoes, set my bag of stuff up on a chair, then turned and jumped into the pool. Today was the first time I have been in the pool at the Y. When you are sitting along side the pool, it is very easy to over heat. That room, for whatever reason, is kept much warmer than the other parts of the building. Well the water was nice and comfortable. It wasn quite warm. Usually when you jump into a pool, you prepare yourself for a bit of shock before you get used to the cool water. Not this morning. I jumped in and the first words out of my mouth were "the water feels great!"

Well for the most part, I was able to do all the exercises the instructor had us to. The ones I struggled with were not because I couldn't, but more so because I wasn't sure what the exercise was. Sometimes she would say "OK! NOW THIS!" and she would describe the movement. I'm a visual guy so for me I have to see stuff that I don't get at first, in order to fully understand it. Thankfully a few times she got out of the pool so she could imitate how the exercise was done. Did things like Cross Country Skiing in the water, running in place, side lunges, stretches, etc. At one point, I didn't feel winded or tired, and my leg cramped momentarily. I immediately straightened it all the way out and waited about thirty seconds for the cramp to go away. Leg cramps suck!

So after the water exercise, I went to get my card back, and asked the lady at the counter how I get officially in the class. I guess it really doesn't matter. I could technically come and take part in the work out without officially being on their list of people. But, I figure for my sake, it will be easier to not allow myself to let it slide, if I know that I am registered with them. Today was the shallow end of the pool, but I believe monday, wednesday, and friday is in the deep end. I'm thinking I will go tomorrow too, so that I can see what that one is like. Maybe I will want to stick with the deep end part of the class. Maybe I will stick with the one I registered in, Tuesday, and Thursday, and then just be a guest on Friday for the Deep End. If I could get up every day (Even on my days off), I think I would be willing to do monday through friday. It's a great work out. I realized it when I was going to bed, and I could feel it in my legs and arms. A small, but not uncomfortable burn.

After dropping Lex off at school, I came home and went to sleep. By this point it was already 8:30. By 11, Zoe had gotten up, and Erin had gone to get her and bring her in. Zoe came over, grabbed my side, and climbed up. After a few minutes, Erin did take Zoe out of the room and close the door so I could sleep. Probably an hour or so later, she was back in the room. She was working on tidying up the house, and was needing to do something in the room. Of course, she needed light for it. Then a little later she left again, turning the light off. Then again not too long from that, she came in, waking me up again and told me that Tinche, our cat, got out the door when she had gone out on the front porch to grab something, momentarily leaving the door open. Our cat goes into heat like every 2 weeks it seems, and we don't have the money yet to get her spayed. I found out this morning when I got home, that there is a male cat lurking around the house every so often. He apparently has heard Tinche and her constant meowing. I was in the kitchen at 6:20 and heard meowing much like Tinche's, but tinche was on the floor by my feet. I looked outside and saw this orange cat that I'm sure is a boy.

This afternoon when I found tinche and got her back inside, later on the male cat was lounging at the foot of the stairs connected to our front porch. I said "Erin! Look! That's the cat I told you about!" If she wasn't going to get pregnant, and have kittens, maybe we could try to explore the option of letting her out and seeing that she comes back. 1) I'm afraid she will not come back (get lost or whatever), and 2) if she gets out, and mates with another cat, I don't think we can keep her. In the rental agreement with my parents, I don't want to push it by saying "our cat is having kittens!" No, that won't go over well. We were lucky to be allowed to get Teagan! They almost didn't let us. We adopted him, then were forced to take him back to the original owners for fear of being kicked out, then they rethought it and said he better not mess up the house.

So, today I am pretty damn tired. I napped off and on on the couch, but that kind of napping almost does not mean anything. Sleeping for a few minutes, waking up, then sleeping for a half hour, waking up to something, etc, that is not sound recouperative sleeping. Just like, when I go to bed in the morning, if I only sleep 1-3 hours, get woken up, go back to sleep, awakened shortly after, I eventually get up feeling groggy, EXTREMELY cranky, tired, sometimes depressed, and irritable. If I can get 5-7 hours straight without interruption, then I can usually wake up feeling ok. 7-9 hours and I wake up feeling like "ok! I can take care of this, and this, and this, and this!" But when I'm lacking sleep, I can't motivate myself to get too many things done. Single tasks take too much energy out of me when I'm lacking sleep.

So in closing, when I got up, I grabbed my phone and had 24 emails. They were all comments on the blog from the same person. I texted her and was like "HOLY SHIT!" She was like "?" And I was like "You didn't have to comment! I understand!" I'm glad she did, and now I will make sure to return the favor to her as well, but I was just blown away. I will write more for you tomorrow.

Thanks for being here!

CB

Day 24

Good afternoon everyone. Today I ran a bit late coming home from work. At about midnight last night, I received a call from a charge nurse from the 4th floor of the hospital. She had talked to the house supervisor and really needed me to sit with a patient one on one from 4AM till 6AM. I cleared it with the house supervisor and had everything unlocked by 4, before reporting to 4th floor for the one on one. It went really well. The biggest issue was he still seemed medicated and he kept getting up and walking. They were afraid he would fall down, so whenever he got up and walked I was right there beside him. He kept saying "I'm sorry for making you nervous." I was like "No worries! I just don't want you to fall!" So at 6 oclock, I tracked down the charge nurse, whom I'm sure is the same nurse I had overnight when I was admitted because of my gall bladder being removed. Fun times! She seems really nice. I just remember being in so much pain, and the morphine not doing anything for it. I kept calling her in, and asking her if there was anything else I could get for the pain. Oh well!

At 6 AM, I tracked the charge nurse down,and asked her if she had someone to fill in for me. She was like "Do you 'have' to leave?" I was like "pretty much, yeah I do. If I were to stay, I have to call up the chain and get approval, and all that fun stuff." The guy I was watching was fairly pleasant to be with, so I wouldn't have really been doing a whole lot. However, I also had to get home to get Lex up for school. I had thought about going to the YWCA this morning at 7 and doing water aerobics. Here's what I was doing. At 6:30, I was standing in front of the stove, staring at the clock. In my head were two questions that were bouncing back and forth, argueing with each other in a way. 1) Should I go and do the work out at the Y at 7? or 2) should I wait till my back has gotten better, stay home, get lex up, and watch another episode of Hercules Season 1? Well, I think my back was the big deciding factor. I wanted to exercise, but I don't want to hurt myself worse. So, while Lex was getting ready, I was watching one of the hercules legendary journey series. Then when it was over, it was about 5 minutes before the bus was going to come. Walked her outside, kissed her goodbye, and watched her head to the bus stop.

Then I came in and went to bed. Woke up off and on, but didn't actually get up until it was 30 minutes after 2. I had my appointment with our friend the massage therapist at 3. The massage really helped my back. While I was laying there, my face burrowed in the odd round pillow with a hole that comes with massages, we were chatting for the first few minutes. Then, I couldn't talk anymore as she started running across the knots. From that point on, I did not say a word. There were several points where as she went on, she would hit another area, and I could tell that she noticed them because she would stop and be at that point for a minute or two extra. One or two of the knots made me jump a little.

Afterwards, when I came out, sat down and drank some water, I was like "Dang Sherri, your hands work magic on those knots." She was like "I could tell I found the trouble spots as soon as you stopped talking." Before I left, I asked her if she had any time slots open for next thursday, which is pay day for me. She did, so I scheduled Erin for a massage too.

So, my back still hurts when I sit, move around, etc, but it feels a lot better. I didn't realize I had other knots too, but apparently that was the case. Logged onto WoW for a few minutes but decided I really didn't feel like it. So, sat down out on the porch and started to do my blog entry. Figured, might as well get it out of the way. I am going to call that it for right now. I need to start getting ready for work. I will write more for you all tomorrow.

Thanks for being here.

CB

Day 22

Hello everybody. Have you ever had a semi-arguement with someone? By semi-arguement, I mean that it can be looked at both ways; either as an arguement, or not as one. Well, I had one of those tonight. It was a silly topic, really. It was about the blog. The issue is pretty common with people who blog, myself included. When I blogged on xanga, I was 98% sure that nobody was ever reading my blog anyway. So the thought process for me was "Why should I write here when nobody even cares? I should just write by hand in my actual notebook journal." After a while, I decided to abandon my xanga blog. That was in my old life. Now that I'm in a completely new life, and trying to build it and make it a very blessed and successful life, I have to approach things differently. I will acknowledge some things though, as far as blogging here. I realize, yes, that there may be practically nobody even reading this. I realize, also, that even if there are people reading this, there could possibly not be any comments from any of them. I have thought about this, and you know what? That's fine! I did not start this blog with the idea in mind that I wanted to become popular, get friends, etc. Nope. I started this blog, with the plan that "I will write every single day. No exceptions!"

So here I am! We are on the 22nd post out of 365, and things are going well I believe. Let's move on! Today I slacked off more than usual. When I finally was able to get to sleep at 4:45 in the morning, I dreaded the idea of getting up at 6:30 to wake Lex up for school. Her bus comes at 7:30, but her school starts at 8:30. So I changed my approach. I changed my alarm from 6:30 to 7:30. When she woke up, she looked around confused because of how it was already daylight out. I was like "I didn't get to sleep till late. Get dressed. I will get your breakfast on the table and I will be dropping you off myself :)" She was like "Oh! Ok!"

While I was waiting for her to come down, I poured two bowls of cereal, and sat down to eat mine. After about five more minutes, she was at the table with me. When she was done I mentioned that she should brush her hair, and to meet me at the truck when she was ready. Came home, took a vicadin hoping it would help my back, which I don't think it did. Or at least I didn't notice any decrease in the stabbing. I went back to bed, and set my alarm for 10:00, which gave me about an hour and 40 minutes of sleep. Got up, got dressed and headed out to go to my appointment with the Army National Guard recruiter. I bombarded him with questions. Walking in there I told myself "I'm not going to sign anything. I just want information. Thats all. No big decisions right now."

I filled out some paperwork to give him my info. He made copies of my discharge papers. We sat down and talked about different job possibilities. He gave me a 2 page list with lots of possible jobs. The ones I wrote down that I would possibly be interested in were jobs that would help me get into a good paying field as a civilian. Such as Radiology Tech, Healthcare Specialist, Biomedical Equiptment repair, and Medical Labratory specialist. 2 of them would have me sent away for only about 16 weeks for the initial training after the 5 weeks of Warrior Training (kind of like a small boot camp for prior enlisted people). The other two, like biomedical equipment repair and mecial lab specialist, after the 5 warrior training would have a 44 week training in the field I would be in. That would mean that, for the most part I would be pretty much active duty for a year, getting payed BAH (for housing) because we live off base, getting full duty pay, etc, until I were to get fully trained.

Those are a few of the things that make me nervous. 1) going through a basic training again, which even though its a small version, is still basic training in a way. 2) what if I decide to do it, and go with a job that takes 44 weeks of training? Thats 44 weeks away from the family, which would suck big time! Plus, one of the questions I asked him was "are there any jobs that have a sign on bonus. The answer to that was No. There are no sign on bonuses for prior enlisted unfortunately, but newbies are offered $15,000. What's the deal with that? Oh well.

There are my worries and concerns about going forward with joining the guard. I still have a little bit of weight to lose before I could go in anyway, but I have been working on that the last few weeks anyway. I get the feeling that Erin thinks it would be a good thing to be apart of the guard. When I mentioned about me needing to drop some weight so that I could go in if I decided to, she said we should work out together. So, there may be some mornings of going to the YWCA to do water exercise afterall. *I'm not sure how to spell arobics.:P *

She said we could go tomorrow. I'd love to, and I probably will, but I'm concerned with my back. It is still kiling me! I'm hoping I didn't do the same injury I did in the air force. It was bad enough that I went to a physical therapist. They layed me out on a table, and had me twist in all sorts of different angles. After one of them, my back popped and the pain went away. Erin and I don't have health care, so going to a physical therapist is sort of out of the question. ER? Still same deal with payment, I cant! Oh well, I'm sure if I just take it easy, it will slowly get better. I HOPE!

Soccer practice was good today. The coach started the girls with kicking back and forth again. Then she surprised me. She turned to me and said "So are there any drills you would like them to do?" I hadn't expected this, otherwise I would have been ready for her. I started giving her suggestions. One of them was working on teaching the girls how to do propper throw-in's. They did pretty good. Then I was like "Why don't we line them all up, with the front player having the ball. The back player sprints to the front of the line, and as they get there, the person with the ball passes it just ahead of them. As soon as they have the ball, they yell "GO!" and the next person at the back of the line sprints up."

She thought that sounded good, so she lined them up in one big line. After a minute or two, she thought maybe there were too many people in the single line, so she divided up the line in two and I took half. I jogged right beside my line, coaching them as they went. The biggest problem they had *lex was with may group too*, was stopping and walking. They would fall behind, and have to run harder to get to the front. Finally I was like "Stopping and walking only makes it harder! Run!" They complained, but did it. I mentioned "Ok, let's do one more lap!" And one of the girls was like "Dude! We've ran like 12 laps!" I was like "Very good! One more couldn't hurt!" Then I was like "Go ahead and stop! Take a breather." From what Erin told me, the coach with her line was getting frustrated and commenting like "this isn't working." and stuff like that.

When we got home, Erin said "You are good with the kids." I said "What do you mean?" And she commented about how I jogged beside my line, and how my group seemed to at least get the concept. She said the coach's group wasn't getting it, and the coach was getting frustrated and not really coaching and making them better. I'm just glad I can help. The coach today told me that her daughter and her are not going to be there next year because of moving. She was like "So if you want to volunteer I'm sure you would be able to take over!" I was like "Well, when you initially talked to Erin about me possibly assisting you, I didn't think I wanted to be a coach. But after getting out here and doing it, I enjoy teaching them how to play. I'm thinking I will go for it next season."

Before we left for practice, at about 1:30 or so, I had put Zoe down for a nap. I wanted to take a nap some time myself also, and figured I would get some time in before practice. So I went up to bed, changed into comfy sleep clothes, set my alarm for 4pm, and went to sleep. At a few minutes to 4, Lex was waking me up saying "Dad! Soccer practice!" When I got up and got dressed, I came and noticed Ally was not even dressed for it yet. I was like "What? Waking me up for soccer practice when you're not even ready?" She was like "I've got my soccer socks and shin guards on!" I was like "Where are the shorts and stuff? You're still wearing your school clothes!" :-D It didn't take her long to change though, I will give her that. Plus, the more she goes to practices, I think she enjoys the sport more and more. That makes me happy. Her first experience with soccer was at British soccer camp during the month of July, so her only impression of the sport other than learning was "It's too hot. I don't think I want to play soccer." We were like "Well honey, that was just because of when the camp was. We want you to try it on a regular league once during the normal seasons and see if you like it." I'm glad we did that, because she loves it! Not only loves it, but I can tell that she wants to get better.

I think it is time to close. If my back did not feel like I had a small knife stuck in it, I think today would have been a really good day. At 4PM I missed a call from a guy I meet with from our church every week. I meant to call him this morning and reschedule. I didn't feel like I would be able to walk with him with my back the way that it is. I called him back, and explained what had happened, that I am sorry I didn't call him. He was like "No problem! Let's plan for next week same time, and I hope you're back feels better!"

Lesson for today is something we all have heard. Lift with your legs. ;) I would have, and I tried my best, but the dolly with the armoir was half way down it, so I had to slouch to even get a grip. Lucky me eh! Know what I'm doing wrong but not be able to help it? Oh well! At least I know not to do it that way again! I will write more for you all tomorrow.

Thanks for being here, and God Bless!

CB

Day 21

Good day everybody. Today was an interesting day. When Erin went to work, and dropped Zoe off at day care, I went back to sleep. I intended to make it to class on time, but of course, I over slept. Erin came in and mentioned that it was just after two. "Shit!" I said, jumping up and getting dressed. It really didn't surprise me about over sleeping. Lately with either working, or having stuff I need to do, oversleeping seems to be pretty common. oh well. Well, I jumped up, got dressed, and headed out. The biggest reason for going to class today was getting some help from the teacher about the online library. Otherwise, we were just working on the paper in class on our own. So, I got to class even though I was a half hour late.

At class I found out what I needed to know. Plus I found another article to include information about. All in all, it went pretty well for only making half the class. As I left, I texted Erin telling her I was on my way home. As soon as I pulled into the driveway and got out of the truck, I looked at the time. It was 3:15. Today was Lex's swim class day, and we had to pick her up at 3:30. So, I got back in the truck, and texted Erin saying "Actaully nvm, I'm going to pick Lex up." She texted back "Thank you!" While I was waiting for Lex to get out of school, I called the National Guard Recruiter back. He had called when I was asleep before class and left a message. I'm officially scheduled to take my certificate of discharge from the military and meet with him tomorrow morning. I wonder what will happen. I guess we will see.

After leaving the school, we stopped home temporarily so Lex could get changed into her swim suit. Zoe was down for a nap, and Erin was asleep in the recliner, so I figured I would take Lex. Beforehand though, we both grabbed a small snack and a drink. On the way there, I mentioned that there might be a possibility of going to DQ. She perked up, getting a huge smile on her face. She was like "really! Woohoo!" I said, "But it depends on you. It depends on if you remember what you, me, and your mother talked about last week. Do you remember what that was?" She was like, "Yup, not to fool around too much, and to pay attention." I was like "Correct. If you remember that, then we may get ice cream afterwards. ;)" Sure enough! She was pretty much the most well behaved student in her swim class. A few of the other girls tried to splash her and she turned and said "Please stop." I was so proud of her. After doing one of the drills, she would turn to glance in my direction. I'd give her a thumbs up and a big smile, and she would beam.

It's nice to see her in things that she enjoys, and that she can do really well. So when we walked out of her swim practice, she was like "So? Can we go get ice cream?" I gotta say, DQ really overdoes it with their serving size. Don't get me wrong, I mean it is really freaking good! It's just, wow. Even the guy that handed me Erin's and my waffle cones said "Wow, thats a lot of ice cream!" When the guy giving you your treat says that, you know it must be true. He works there after all! So we came home, and everyone sat down to enjoy their delicious treat. Zoe always enjoys anything sweet and tasty. She says "thank you" more now. She was taking a bite, and part of it fell in her lap while she was sitting up in her high chair. I folded up two paper towels and layed them in her lap, and she was like "tankyu dadda." I was like "you're welcome sweetheart!" So adoreable at times. Then I told Erin I was going to go out and get started on mowing the lawn. Right as I was about to finish that I made a decision. After I finished it, I put the mower away and figured "I might as well go ahead and kill myself moving the furniture from the garage into the spare room." I figured it has been out there for a few weeks, I have been meaning to do it, and if I didn't do it while I was motivated to do so, it would be hard to get the motivation to get it done later this week.

I loaded the huge Armoir (I probably massacred that word, but I did my best.) onto the dolly, and worked it around till I was at the stairs just outside the front door. I hollered out for Erin to give me a hand, and she started clapping. LOL! She was like "Get it? I'm giving you a hand!" Ha ha. Such a comedian. ;) So ANYWAY ;) She came out, and getting that armoir up the steps with the dolly was so much a pain in the ass that we had ally get a blanket that we could just lay the armoir down on and drag it in. That worked pretty well. We made it almost up to the landing on the stairs and we were at a stand still. We called one of our good friends and asked if he wouldn't mind giving us a hand for about 5 minutes. He of course was more than willing to come. With his help, we got it in the room. Then he even helped me bring up a few other bulky pieces. To thank him, we gave him a container filled with a decent amount of brisket. What better way to thank someone with something nice, for doing something nice, other than something nice and totally delicious? ;)

Well, after he left, Lex kept grabbing small wooden pieces for the bed we were bringing up, and Erin and I brought up the mattress and box spring. When we were bringing up the box spring, all I can say is this. Oh, My, Freaking, Gosh. That thing was more of a pain than the armoir. It got caught half way up and it took forever for us to budge it. Finally we did, and we got it the rest of the way upstairs. Then we got the mattress in. By this point, my back was killing me. Sometime through out all of this, my lower back (which I injured while in the Air Force) flared up REALLY bad again. I'm talking, depending on the pain level, I can't stand up straight. When it happenned, Erin called our friend Sherri, who is a massage therapist (pretty reasonable too, and very good at her job) and told her what had just happenned. I'm now scheduled for 3PM on Wednesday.

Erin had set something out to thaw as far as dinner was concerned, but by the time we were done, it was around 9 oclock and we were both like "ORDERING OUT!" We put buffy on the tv, and then both got onto our characters on World of Warcraft and just relaxed. It was hard relaxing, mainly because my back hurts pretty bad. I think when this happened in the Air Force, I went to a physical therapist and they did some little thing, something in my back popped, suddenly the pain was gone. I'm hoping that this will go away quickly. Finally, Finally, FINALLY I made it out of Stormwind. After just a little running, I found creatures that were even higher level than me, and I was leveling up faster than I had been recently where I started from. So, after I leveled up easily to level 13, and a quarter of the way to level 14, I met up with Erin. We both learned the flight path for where we were at, and I traded her some silver so she could fly to storm wind. I took that opportunity to log off that character and log onto my brand new character. I decided I would create a warlock. I vaguely remember having a warlock back in the day, and decided why not. Why should I only have just one character. I don't think I would want to have 5 or whatever, but 2? Sure!

The funny thing was, I only played the character for probably 30 minutes and then i was already on level 3. Erin mentioned that she was going to sign off and go upstairs to take a shower, and I decided I would log off and get my entry done for the night. So, time to close.

In closing, everything isn't done on the list we wrote out yet. However, things, BIG things have been taken care of, and I am happy about that. For instance, moving the furniture in, getting bedrooms more permanently set up than they were, etc. To me, that was something big that I had been dreading doing, and now it is done! DONE DONE DONE! WOOHOO! Another funny thing is, I joked around with Erin saying "Ok, now I won't be doing any more physical jobs for at least a few weeks again." It seems to be a trend. I do one, two, or three physical jobs, be it staining floors, moving stuff, getting rid of stuff, cleaning up the basement after the sewer backed up, etc. Then I take a little while till I can get myself to do the next round of jobs. Laziness? Maybe at least partly. But, whenever I set out to do those little odd jobs, and actually get them done, it helps. I feel so much better (with the exceptino of my aching back), but otherwise, I'm good. Better than good right now. I know Erin is much happier. She has been wanting me to get those things moved in the house for a few weeks. So for tonight the lesson is this. Never be afraid of manual labor. Sometimes the harder the job is, the better you feel when you have successfully completed it. I don't like moving, or hard jobs, but at the same time they need to get done. Not to mention the added perk of being emotionally lifted. So there you have it. I will write more for you tomorrow.

Thanks for being here!

CB