It's amazing to think that I am now on my 32nd entry out of the 365 that I intend to do for this perticular blog. Some days, I admit, it is hard as hell to get myself to write anything. However, I am the type of person that, if I allow myself to slack off, then I will keep doing it. For example, as far as going to the Y, and/or exercising, etc, if I tell myself "Oh I don't feel like it. I will just do it on Thursday." Then Thursday comes along and I think "You know? I will just start fresh on Tuesday." So instead, come Tuesday, I tell myself "I'm going to go otherwise I will want to skip Thursday also." I just have to be determined to do it no matter what. The other day Erin had made a comment about how she would go to a 5:15PM work out class but felt too tired. I mentioned to her later that next time that happens, if she's thinking "I will go later, I'm too tired," that she should go ahead and go anyway. I said that although she felt tired before hand, that who knows, maybe she would feel better after going through it.
So, as you all know, I have been trying to be on a strict diet. Salad's have been my close personal friend for the past at least 2 weeks. Also, I have tried to only drink Mt Dew while I'm at work *mainly because I need at least some caffeine to work overnight*, and I have been trying to resist any urges to snack on anything between meals. I have also made sure to check the labels whenever I'm going to possibly buy something to eat, and make a final decision based on the nutritional information. For instance, last week I was going to pick up easy bake stuff for dinner for all of us because I didn't really have the energy to cook. I looked at Stoufers TV dinners and one of them was like 700 Calories by itself. I was like "DAMN!" I mean, they are pretty damn good, but DAMN!
So I had been pretty strict with my diet lately. Eating granola cereal or other healthy cereal for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and then eating dinner without worrying about anything. Plus exercising at least a couple times a week. Well yesterday I felt like crap. It was a combination of things. 1) I felt exausted all day. I slept good, but by the time I came to work I was dragging. Every time I ate anything, an hour or two later I was starving again. We had frozen fish fillets and mac& Cheese for dinner last night, and literally by 2 hours later I felt weak and as though my stomach was already empty. The only thing I could think was that I had really not been eating much protein at all. Also, with avoiding the snacks between meals, and sugar as much as possible, and not drinking caffeine hardly at all, my body must be burning through everything much faster. Maybe my metabolism is getting higher? Who knows.
So anyway, I decided that I probably really needed a good protein. So when I filled my gas tank up yesterday, I grabbed Erin a snack also, and I got a single serve package of beef jerky. After eating that, I was like "meat. yes. meat. that's what I need. More meat." Didn't leave work this morning until 6:30 because I was trying to get the schedules written up for the next 5 weeks. I meant to do it throughout the night but forgot until 15 minutes till 6 this morning. I rushed when I got home. Put cereal on the table for Lex, had a small bowl myself, ran upstairs and woke her up, and then turned on the next episode of Hercules.
By 7:05 there was still no sign of Lex. I hollered up again but didn't get a response. So I walked up the stairs. She heard me and was on her feet by the time I got to her door. I was like "You don't have much time missy. Get dressed! Your cereal is still on the table." She was like "kay." I went back down, lounging again on the recliner, and resumed Hercules. Eventually she came down, ate, got mostly ready, and then layed on the couch watching the show as well. When it was over, there was 5 minutes before the bus was going to show up. I didn't want her to be late, so I grabbed my keys and said "Hop into the truck, I will drive you down there." I literally dropped her off on the corner near the other kids, did a u-turn and then the bus was pulling up. It was close, but at least she made it.
So for some reason, I couldn't sleep past 1PM. I wanted to sleep till 2 or 3 because of how tired I was all night, but nope, I was wide awake feeling rested at just after 1. Erin came home and put Zoe down for a nap. She showered quick and then layed down, falling asleep herself. I tried to sleep but couldn't, so figured I would get my shower and shave out of the way early. I hung out downstairs for a little bit, and then Lex showed up just after 4. Wanting protein really bad, I thought "Tonight feels like a steak and potatos night." I was going to go with Lex and Zoe to Wal mart to get steaks and stuff for dinner, and I was surprised that Erin was awake. I told her that I had planned to take the girls out and let her sleep, but since she was awake we all went. For mother's day I got Erin a couple different plants for her garden. This time we did vegitables. Tomatos was one of them, brocoli, I think we did onions, and strawberries? Ok, so not 'all' vegi's.
Lex brought her money she got for her birthday, and she bought mommy a nice and big flower plant to plant in the garden as well. We have dreams for how big we want the garden to be. I would even love to take half of one small section of our yard and put a little garden fence around it and have vegitables on one side and regular flowers and such on the other. We were talking about what my dad's reaction would be if he came to visit mid summer and there was this lovely garden all in bloom. I guess we will see!
So the steaks I picked out were this large ass sirloins. Between 4 steaks in the large package, the weight was almost 4 pounds. We rushed back home and dropped Erin off at her appointment with our friend the massage therapist from church. While she was at that, the girls and I headed back home. I began getting the vegitables chopped up and into the foil, ready to throw on the grill, and Erin finished it when she got home. It was about 40 minutes before work, Erin was planting her new plants, the girls were running around in the yard, and I was grilling the steaks and vegis. Gotta love a dinner like that! There is still 1 1/2 steaks left! I joked around with Erin "left over steak will be good for something like Steak and Eggs!" She was like "Or, steak and salad!" I was like "That's a good idea! I've never really had steak in a salad but I know it'd be good!"
So today I splurged a little bit more than usual. When we filled up Erin's car, I grabbed a larger bag of beef jerky. I tried to make up for it though. Instead of eating a lot of it myself, I made sure the bag was passed around the car and we all ate some. Share the calories! ;) It wasn't really the calories that concerned me. It was the sodium. The sodium is rediculous in some bags of beef jerky. The calories are like, 120 Calories per serving, with 15 calories being from fat. Then the sodium is like, 500 Mg, or 28% of the daily consumption for sodium. WOW! Too much sodium and then you retain more water weight.
So, I've noticed that with the way that I have felt tons better so far today, I have felt more like getting on here and doing my writing. When I'm tired and constantly starving I just was like "blah. Lets get this over with." I guess in order to clear your mind and let yourself go with your writing, it is too difficult if your body is saying "WHY HAVE YOU ONLY EATEN 3 MEALS AND NO SNACKS?! I'M HUNGRY DAMN YOU! FEED ME!" And you're like "GEEZE! YOU HAD 3 MEALS! PLUS LOTS OF WATER! WHAT ELSE DO YOU FREAKING WANT?!" lol. I guess a big part of trying to eat healthier and "diet" is having to constantly tell yourself "That's enough. Don't eat anything more until your next meal." Or, "I don't really need that fast food." Or "I don't really need to eat that entire candy bar!" Or even "Nah, I don't need to super size." ;)
I will have to jump on a scale again to see what my weight is so far. If I'm in mid 230's fully clothed then I will be pretty happy. I don't expect to have already dropped 20 pounds but if I'm close to 10 just from consuming water instead of pop and lemonade, that will be good. So I'm happy that today I felt more up to coming on here and writing a decent amount. I am going to call that it for tonight, but will write more for you tomorrow! Check out the pictures of Ally's awesome birthday cake made by Erin. The picture is posted on Erin's blog! Be sure to comment saying what you think! She made it so realistic that it actually looks like a personal pan pizza. Lex wanted a "Pizza Cake." See you all tomorrow!
Thanks for being here.
CB
