Hello everyone. We are officially on day number 50. The higher the number of days goes, the more amazed I am. I am very happy that I have been able to stick with it, no matter how good or bad I feel. Currently, today is one of those days where I feel pretty bad. Not so much spiritually and emotionally, but physically. Last night, as you may have read about in yesterday's post, I officially began my daily get out there and run exercises. I don't know the exact distance, but I'm pretty sure by the way I have felt afterwards that it is at least 2 miles, if not 2 1/2 miles. Last night when I went, I asked Lex if she wanted to go and she said yes. Then we ended up taking our dog Teagan as well. It went pretty well.
I knew I needed to get to bed earlier, but because of more buffy episodes, of course it was another late night. Ended up being probably around 3 when we finally went up to bed. I didn't go to bed right away though. When Lex and I got done with our walk/run, we both drank lots of water, gave Teagan lots of water and some more food, and then Erin and I chilled and relaxed downstairs. Mistake number 1 I think was that we both had ice cream in the form of a sundae after dinner. I will explain why I know it was a mistake to do that in just a minute.
When we were downstairs watching buffy, I was having trouble hearing out of my right ear. With that, my balance was really off and I also had a very bad headache, the kind where if you put your hand to your temples you can feel your pulse pounding. So, even though excedrine has caffeine, I took two of them because I needed to feel better. By the time we went to bed, the headache was gone, but my balance was still off a little bit. I tried que tips, but that was not the problem. I figured, I needed a shower anyway, so I stood there under the water for a while before doing the basic stuff like shampoo, conditioner and bodywash routine, and by the time I got done I felt 100 times better. My balance was back to normal, I was clean *which is always a plus compared to when you have just ran/walked a few miles.* Erin was already asleep, and I tried to go to sleep. By this point it was already 4 am. I knew I would be getting up by 6:45 because of getting lex off to the bus stop, and kept trying to clear my mind and go to sleep.
Next thing I know, I'm still awake, and it is just after 5AM. I layed there for the next 35-45 minutes thinking to myself "I know I said I wanted to go out and do the miles on foot every single day. I hurt pretty bad though. Do I want to get up now and just get it over with, finishing up before Lex's bus will even be here? Or do I want to try to go to sleep for less than 2 hours, get up, and leave to do the run after lex leaves?" But the idea of that sounded horrible to me. Feeling like crap even with stretching, and being tired anyway but unable to sleep, at 5:45 I got up and got dressed in my running gear again and headed out. When I left the house it was right at 6AM. I was almost to the river walk path in less than 10 minutes. This time since it felt like I had literally just been out running hours earlier, I didn't take Teagan with me. He's a big dog and I would worry about working him to death. I'm thinking I will probably take him with me tomorrow morning when I go. The plan right now is to change and head out when I get off work in the morning.
I told Lex tonight that I would probably be gone again when she gets up with her alarm clock because of going for my run. She was like "But I want to go with you!" I was like "Well in order to go with me, you would have to get up much earlier. Most likely I will be leaving by 10 after 6 and hopefully be gone less than an hour." So, will she come with me that early? I don't know. It's always possible but I'm not going to count on it. For me, because of the possible heat outside, I prefer to get it done either early just as the sun's coming up *if not in the middle of the night when it's dark and cooled off*, or in the evening as the sun's going down. Zoe and I went out in the truck around 2 or 3 yesterday afternoon and it was mid 80's outside and we were both sweating. I hurried to do what I needed to do and get home quickly because of how hot we both were. Unfortunately our vehicles dont have charged ac's just yet, but that's on the list of things that need to get done.
The reason why I said that eating a yummy ice cream sundae was a mistake was because of this morning. When I headed out, I decided not to take teagan with me. I thought "let's see if I can push myself and run a lot more of the path than I did yesterday," But right away I noticed that if I pushed it my stomach would probably have not have handled it well. It felt like I had one of the richest dinners in the world and that if I pushed it I would no doubt throw it back up. I didn't want to deal with that, so I would run for a block or two, and walk for a while, then run for another block or two. It reinforced what I was thinking when Lex and I ran yesterday. When we left, she was like "Can I grab a snack first?" I was like "No, let's wait. We're going to have dinner as soon as we get home. It's not a good idea to eat right before you go running." When we got home, literally it only took me 20 minutes to get dinner ready. I reheated the brisket, cut it into strips, toasted bread and made brisket sandwiches. I also cooked up some mac & cheese. However, right away Lex was like "Can I get a snack?" I was like "No, I'm making dinner, It'll be ready really soon." "But i'm staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarving," She said. "I know, me too, hense why I'm hurrying to make dinner." XD She's the type of kid that if she snacks before dinner, then dinner might get mostly left on the plate.
So this morning lex had no idea that I had gone back out for another run. She didn't know where I was though. At 7:08 when I came back inside, she was eating a bowl of cereal, and she was like "Oh! You went for another run?" "Yup! I couldn't sleep and I know it needed to get done, so I decided I would go ahead and do it." "You should have woke me up! I would have gone with you!" she said. "Yeah but lex, I left at 6." "Oh." LOL. I think she is "willing" and "wanting" to go, but when you mention some of the early times, its like "oh." :)
In closing, the way I look at it is like this. I will do this every day, and try my best when the civil service testing happens. All I can do is my best. Will I pass? I don't know. I'd like to say yes, but all I can say is I will do my best. Whether or not I pass and get hired, I will force myself to keep the mind set that "I need to do this every day with only every so often skipping a day, to keep on track with the diet and weight loss goal." It's really tough though. My joints are stiff, and my muscles are aching really bad right now. This morning when Lex left for school, Zoe was not scheduled for day care and so I knew that if I went to bed it'd only be like 2 or 3 hours before I would have to get up. So, I stayed up, and got Zoe up, figuring that maybe around noon I'd put her down for a nap,and crash myself. I still need to get over to the community action place here in clinton to go forward with the energy assistance, but for me it always works out better to get somewhere like that mid afternoon like 2ish. To get over there early in the day just seems so damn difficult. Erin wanted me to do it today, and I found myself dozing off on the recliner with Zoe on me, and I texted Erin at work saying that I would plan to get over there hopefully early afternoon tomorrow to get the necesary steps taken for the energy assistance.
I said that I was so tired that I was going to put Zoe down for a nap, and crash, and just plan for it tomorrow. The part that also cuts into my plans sometimes is me getting lex to school. If I could come home from work and go right to bed, I would be in bed by 6:15, and that makes it so much easier to get somewhere by 1 or 2. But when I get her off to school, I don't get to bed till almost 8, and so to get somewhere by 1 means only 4 hours of sleep. That's fine and dandy if I know I can get atleast a 2 hour nap before work, because 4 hours of sleep sucks when I try to work overnight. I guess that is what I am on today, but I woke up at 4:30 so it's more recent, which helps. Thank God for Mountain Dew. :) So I will call that it for tonight. I will write more for you all tomorrow.
Thanks for being here.
CB
